Being An Empath

I’m not friendly.

But it’s because I have to be that way. If I allow anyone and everyone into my life then I’d be overrun by all their requests. I’m not sure it’s because I’m ‘special’, I think it’s more that people can feel that I truly do care and am not judgmental and they love that.

I learned about the term Empath maybe 5 years ago but I hadn’t revisited the psychological description since. It made sense to me. It set me free. I used to think I was seriously an alien but now I know my personality is a gift. I’m still trying to figure out how to use it though. If you read through my blog archives you may get a better sense of my personality but if you don’t have time you can scroll through this list.

I’m an Empath which means:

I am extremely sensitive in my senses.
I hate loud music blaring from the radio. I don’t like crowded places. I sometimes smell things that others don’t smell, including my own body odor which makes me paranoid about smelling good. I savor foods with strong tastes like garlic; I LOVE GARLIC and onions and hot sausages. Eating food is an event for me and I often shop and get foods that have all the different textures so I can enjoy them.

I can feel other people’s emotions.
I can tell when something is wrong with my friend before she calls me to tell me about it. Once I felt this sad feeling and I called my BBDD to ask him what’s going on. He lied and said everything was fine but later admitted that he had gotten fired. As a counselor in training this was overwhelming for me because I cried when the clients cried and I felt anger when the client was anger. I get depressed over other people’s situations. It will keep me up at night. On the flip side, I understand what people are going through so I don’t judge them harshly. I can tell that he said that because he’s insecure and hurting or she did that because she is intimidated by me. People get away with a lot when it comes to me because i understand why they are doing it and I forgive.

I can’t listen to or watch pictures/movies of negative events.
I do not own a TV. When I did I never turned it on except to watch Millionaire Matchmaker or Kanye West or the Golden Girls and that was usually a few times a year. The thought of violence or an image of violence depresses me severely. That’s why over the years being abused has affected my spirit so much. Sometimes I think it has MADE me more empathetic. I’m more sensitive to the hurts of others because of all the bruises from men beating up on me.

I absolutely CAN NOT watch the news at all. If I’m at my Mom’s house and she turns it on, I have to leave. I am immediately filled with a sense of dread and I feel like I should die. I hate hearing negative stories about people being taken advantage of and I definitely can not participate in taking advantage of someone. I will have to confess. Don’t do any dirt around me or expect me to help you hurt someone or cover it up. I can’t.

I can’t help but HELP.
Well, I used to be way more into this than I am now but before it felt like a compulsion. If someone needed help, I HAD to do it. I couldn’t stop myself. If someone needed money I would give it. If someone needed a ride, I’d do it. Whatever it was I had to volunteer. But last summer when i lived with this couple who were the opposite and it hurt me tremendously, I learned how to look the other way and I’m better at allowing people to do for themselves.

I can tell what people’s motives are even when they try to hide it. I can FEEL a lie.
This is so hard to deal with because sometimes a lie isn’t the worst thing but I can usually tell when a person is lieing to me or when they are trying to manipulate me. Sometimes I’ll go along with it, just to see how slimy the person is, if i don’t think it will hurt me much to go along. I can hear the motive behind the words you speak or the questions you ask. Once a guy asked me, “When did you blah blah blah?” What he really meant was, “When did you realize you liked me?” So instead of answering the cover up question, I answered the real question. I can tell when a man really likes me. I can feel it. I can always tell when my children’s father is being spiteful and it hurts. Sometimes I wish I walked int he fog but I see clearly. It’s not a voice, its a KNOWING.

I can FEEL if a person’s ideals match with mine.
Today I had this weird feeling about a woman I knew from a long time ago and I didn’t want to keep that feeling because I love her as a friend so I confronted it by calling her and keeping her on the phone long enough so that I can feel her vibe. My feeling was right. We aren’t on the same page with ideals, which means, she is probably a critical and gossiping person who will harm others if it benefits her and cover it up very well. Not saying she’s a BAD person, she’s just not a good match for ME because I can’t have those type of conversations where I just bash someone. I love myself too much to point out the flaws in others all the time. We see in others what we see in ourselves.

I need a break from people.
There’s nothing like the end of the day when I rush home and take off my bra and breathe deeply because, I’m alone. I can only take socializing for a few hours at a time before I either have to go sit in my car and calm down or go home because it’s too much. My friends hate this because they claim I am the life of the party and they hate when I leave or refuse to go out. I just can’t take all that mayhem and I need recovery time.

I can sense what is about to happen through my intuition.
But only in my own life as for right now. I can feel when a major change is about to occur and I listen to my intuition when it tells me what to do. Once my intuition said, “Take your things. This will be your last day at work.” And then I got fired. Another time my intuition said, “Take a picture.” and I needed that picture later on down the road. Another time my intuition said, “He is about to lose everything,” and he did. I remember thinking, “I don’t see myself graduating from this program,” and I had to drop out. Once I was getting my nails done and I saw a flash of an image of a man in my mind and the words in my heart said, “You are about to meet someone special.” The next day I met that man although I didn’t remember the vision until months later. He became the president of the company I worked for.

I wish I could see some GOOD things though! Seems my intuition warns me of losses or maybe I just pay attention to those messages more clearly.