Author: TPatterson

Maybe tonight?

~stretching~

I feel better.

Nope, still no electricity but last night after I put the boys to bed and sat down on my couch to talk on the phone by candlelight, for some reason the whole situation became very funny to me. Dude, we’re sitting up with no electricity but everyone is managing quite well.

~singing~ WE SOME SURVIVORS! We ain’t gonna stop, we gonna try harder!

We have all gained survival skills we never knew we had in us.

People sitting outside of the grocery store EARLY in the morning. And they’re not waiting for the store to open, they are lining up to plug their cell phones into the outlets outside the store to charge them up.

We have developed a routine. If we are going out and we know we’ll be out after the sun goes down, you make sure to leave a flashlight by the door so that you can have enough light to light the candles when you get back in.

You know to take a load of laundry with you when you go to visit your friend who has power or wait for hours for a machine to open up at the laundromat.

The small tea light candles work very well, but the BEST candles are the long stemmed ones, they give off way more light than even the little candles in the cup.

Everybody is outside cooking on makeshift grills. My friend called me yesterday and told me a story about how her sister took a shingle that fell off the roof and somehow turned it into a grill, and she made their meals on that. She promised to email me a picture of it. Now you know if I wasn’t cooking BEFORE the storm, ain’t no way I’m rigging up a grill and getting all sweaty NOW.

The Red Cross is giving out food rations which includes a container of MILK. I still don’t understand that but my sons drank it all up and called it DELICIOUS. Also in the box was a can of self warming chicken pasta. The can heats up by itself by some kind of miracle I guess. There was pudding, sunflower seeds, apple juice, orange juice, ravioli and canned fruit.

My Mama called me last night and told me that they were giving out hot lunches at her job. She works at the foodstamp office. She said the Salvation Army gave out plates of spaghetti and peas and the Red Cross came with baked chicken and rice. I wish I had some. I’m not creative with the food preparations, so basically I’ve exhausted all my money by buying myself and my sons one hot meal a day before school and work started back up. Now it’s back to peanut butter and jelly.

Now that the sun goes down just after 6pm I have to make sure my boys are fed before then. Last night I ordered pizza and brought it and my sons to my office to have dinner and relax in the airconditioning until bedtime.

The problem with the electricity is the hurricane came through and blew the light poles DOWN. So it’s not that they have to turn the lights back on, they have to replace most of them. People lost their roofs and many cars were damaged by the storm.

Someone actually called me quoting the people on the news by saying, “We should have been more prepared.” But how many times can you prepare for a hurricane? You just get some water and food and brace yourselves. No one could prepare to be without electricity for weeks. My cousins had to move into their new place without any power, it’s just crazy.

But guess what? We’re a lot stronger than we thought.

I’m not crying anymore. Well, maybe a little. I’m so damn emotional ~grrr~ but I feel a little more upbeat about the whole situation.

Tonight, I’ll lie awake and dream of a warm shower and fresh clean clothes. Maybe the lights will come back on tonight.

What a beautiful, beautiful thought.

Almost, but not Quite

Guess what? My Mama got lights!

Yeah! Yeah!

My goodness. There’s a strange sense of community down here with everyone hoping for the same thing (electricity). When you see someone buying gas or food you smile over at them and ask if they have lights yet. They’ll smile back and say, “No but my sister has lights.” You smile at them and wish them luck as you go back to your dark place.

At work on Friday as my co-workers got phone calls from their families, they would walk into my office building and say, “WE GOT LIGHTS!” And everyone would cheer and clap for them.

Sylvia said at her job, as people got word that their lights had been turned turned on, they made signs to wear around their necks that read: I HAVE ELECTRICITY!

~shakes head~

My Mama called me while I was at Marsha’s house and said, “I got lights!”
“YAY!” I screamed. “I got my dirty clothes in the car, I’m coming to wash a couple of loads!”

I drove all the way here smiling and laughing and in a great mood.

I walked in and flipped the switch in the pantry.

LIGHT!

I laughed.

Then it dawned on me.

If the lights are working…then that means….the COMPUTER IS WORKING!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

~singing~ Get on down! Shake that thang! Pop that thang! One leg up! One leg up! Jump around! Jump around!

Wow. I feel sooooo good.

They’ve GOT to get to my neighborhood next. But until then, maybe if I’m really quiet, my Mama won’t notice I’m still here…~smile~

The Great Food Stamp Give-Away

(Blogging from my Mama’s house. I still have no power.)

I walk up to my son’s daycare and overhear his daycare workers talking to one of the parents.

“Girl! Everybody getting’em I’m SHOLL gone go down there and get me some foodstamps too!”

I laugh and shake my head. The buzz in the streets is that they are having a FOOD STAMP GIVE-AWAY to replace all the food you lost when your power was out.

“It’s ONE TIME ONLY!” The daycare worker says and looks at me. “Anybody can get’em! I’m gonna take me a chair and some snacks and I’m gonna be in that line by 5:00 and I’ll wait all day to get mine!”

“I don’t think I qualify,” I say to her.

“Yes you do! It’s FREE! EVERYBODY qualifies!” she says dramatically, sounding like a car salesman.

Well since my Mom is a Supervisor at the damn food stamp office I know that the rules are a little more strict than that, but I smile and say, “Hey, good luck.”

Starting tomorrow morning different community centers will hold makeshift foodstamp offices so that people can come out, wait in line and get foodstamps. Everyone thinks that you are automatically eligible and people are as excited about it as a kid waiting for Christmas. Well, not EVERYBODY. No one mentioned it at the upscale private school I work for, but as soon as I hit the inner city limits, it’s all the buzz.

I would love to get some free foodstamps, but I’m not gonna spend a whole day waiting in line for them.

So good luck to everyone else. I hope you’re eligible.

****************

This morning I saw a whole fleet of Florida Power and Light trucks heading toward my neighborhood. I ran home twice during the day to check on my place, still no lights.

~sigh~ I’m the only person I know personally that doesn’t have electricity yet.

Maybe tomorrow.

He Wanna be My Man

Check out my new boyfriend in a video dedication to me. LMAO!

~just playin~

This is Fred Marshall and he’s becoming quite famous for his webcam karaoke hits.

But it’s still hilarious!

Click here SEE VIDEO

And God said…

Let there be light.

And so it was.

After my boys and I showered and did another load of laundry at my Mama’s house last night, we took the familiar drive south on I-95 to our neighborhood to avoid the dangerous intersections.

We turned onto our block and I licked my lips. My mouth was extremely dry. I was anxious to see if this was the night. Would we see light when we drove up to our house?

The electricity seemed to be playing a duck, duck, goose game on our block. Some had it, some didn’t.

I stared at the steering wheel as I pulled into my parking spot. I couldn’t bear to look at my front door knowing the window above it would be inviting or disheartening.

Before I got up the courage to look, I heard my son scream, “MAMA! We got lights! YAY!”

I looked up and sure enough the light streamed through every window of our duplex.

We walked in and did a happy dance while holding hands in a circle. I grabbed the phone and dialed my Mama’s number, instructing my sons to cheer when my Mama answered the phone.

“Hello,” My Mama answered.

“1-2-3!” I said and we all screamed in unison, “WE GOT LIGHTS!”

My Mama laughed. “I’m glad for ya’ll. It’s about time.”

“Alright Mama, let me go put these boys to bed.”

I hung up and looked around.

Ugh… The place was a mess, a hot mess. But I didn’t care. IT’s MY hot mess and I’m going to clean it all up myself.

As we lay in the twin sized bed in the dark, during our “tell me about your day” time, where they often regale me with fascinating tales about what they had for lunch, or who got into trouble, my son blessed my heart.

“Mama,” my 3 year old said as I rubbed the back of his brother’s head- he had just banged it on the wall by accident.

“Yes, Boo Boo,” I answered him as I watched him sit up and look out into the darkness.

“The storm knocked our lights out, but God turned them back on.”

“That’s right Boo, Boo.” I told him and rubbed his back. “That’s right. Thank the Lord.”

We have our power back after more than two weeks in the dark.

The world looks like a brand new place to me.

My Worst Nightmare

I had a dream last night. Well, it was more of a nightmare and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I dreamt I was washing my hair when I realized that it wasn’t shampoo I was using.

It…

~gulp~

It was a…

~Praying~ Lord, please forgive me for these impure thoughts.

It was a PERM!

~cringing~ I know! I know!

I felt so badly when I saw my chemically straightened hair that I ran to my closet and pulled out 6 packs of honey blonde synthetic hair and begged my Mama to braid it for me.

I’m not against women who get perms, but for me, it just means that I’ll have to DO SOMETHING to my hair. And that frightens me. I’ll have to wrap it or tie it up or either go to the hairdresser. ~sigh~ I don’t make enough yet to have a personal hair stylist so until then, I’m not getting a perm.

I’m supposedly letting my hair grow out. It’s been two months since I’ve had a haircut and it’s grown about an eighth of a centimeter. So now my afro is about half an inch long. Maybe I’m supposed to be bald headed for life.

Thank God I’m cute with it!

*************
Read this piece about the 12 days of Wilma. And I thought I was the only one who went crazy!

Ms. Ritchie Rich

When I say the students at the private school where I work get the best of the best, it’s really not an understatement.

Imagine being in first grade and Mommy drives you up to school. Mommy doesn’t have to get out of the car because there is a worker standing there ready to open the car for you, help you out and guide you to your classroom. No lie. That’s how they roll at my school.

And afterschool, you won’t have to sweat a bit. As the parents pull into the circular drive-way, pushing nothingless than the newest model Hummers, Bentley’s and Porsche’s, there is a woman there with a microphone announcing each and every parent as they drive up.

Last week they rented an expresso company to come out for 2 hours to make us any type of expresso, coffee, capuccino or tea we would like, as a treat for the faculty and staff. I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but I made sure to try my first capuccino. It was alright. I don’t want another one. It tastes too much like coffee to me. They do nice things like this for us all the time.

Today, the entire school was buzzing over one a student who is having a bat mitzvah this weekend. Our city’s paper reported that her parents spent more than $500,000 on the 13 year olds party. Her dress was tailor made by Dolce & Gabbana and it cost her parents, $27,000. She is supposed to have Ashanti, Ja Rule, Omarion and Marques Houston performing at her party.

~raises eyebrow~

Yeah. These kids are loaded. Well, their parents are.

Just being in this atmosphere makes me long for more. I’ve always dreamt like this, but now that I can see it and touch it, it seems like it’s even more tangible. Attaining the type of success that most of the school’s parents have is not out of my reach.

I have to amp myself up everyday by repeating, “It’s yours. You can have it. You will have it. Personal stylist. Personal hairdresser. Drivers. Housekeepers, the whole 9! It’s yours girl! Be patient! You’re worth it.”

It’s mine. I claim it.

Now I have to walk in it.

ATL- Get Ready For My Girl

I love Kanye West.

But this isn’t about him. This is about me.

I love myself sometimes.

Sometimes I walk by the mirror and catch a glimpse and think, “DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! You’re hot!”

I mean, I just happen to be the perfect height, (5’1″), the perfect weight, (Nunayobizness) with a nice smooth skin tone. I don’t deal with acne. Even when I gain weight I’m still fly- to me anyway.

I like the fact that no one has to guess where they stand with me. I’ll tell you. I try to bring out the best in people, and if they don’t recognize what their best is, I’ll try to help them find it. I’m what you would call, a hype man. I love playing that role.

My bestfriend Tamara is moving to Atlanta in two weeks. She’s nervous about the move and I understand why. But as she and I spoke the other night I confidently assured her that this move will change her life for the better. See Tamara is and has always been the type of female who attracts the ballers and stars. I think it’s the way she looks and carries herself. She has a near perfect body even after having a child, which I want to STRANGLE her for- but the best thing about her is, she isn’t stuck up. She’s an honest to goodness, GOOD HEARTED person. Generous and kind and exotic looking. She doesn’t have to brag about what men do for her to get attention/envy from other women, in fact, she doesn’t want attention at all. That’s very rare.

I think I love her so much because of all my friends, she is the sweetest. She never turns her nose up at anyone (except that one time..) AND she can hang with guys without feeling uncomfortable. When you go out with her, she gets all the attention, but for some reason, you don’t mind. You actually feel PROUD that she’s your friend. Well, that’s how I feel.

I told her that as soon as she moves to Atlanta, she’s gonna meet all the stars –and I wasn’t saying it just to be nice. The weird thing is, she won’t turn into the next Superhead because Tamara doesn’t sleep around.

I think I admire her so much because she embodies all of the qualities I would love to have; reserve, humility and a touch of Sunshine. In fact a guy once told me, “Her nickname should be Sunshine.” I thought that was sooo sweet.

I don’t know what happened here. This post was supposed to be about how much I love myself, but I guess I’m all emotional over my girl and her new beginning.

I love her so much. I wish her the best. She has been nothing but a TRUE FRIEND to me. And I know most women never get to experience that. She knows how to deal with my craziness. She knows how to ignore my mood swings and to remind me of my successes when I can’t see them.

So as a gift to her I’m hooking her up with my friend Kim who moved to the Chocolate City two months ago. I HATE for my friends to have any other friends besides me but- I’m going to make this exception AGAIN because I want Tamara to be around someone she can trust in her new city. I hope that Suezette will meet up with Tamara too. I think I’d feel better if they knew each other.

Many blessings to you Tamara as you move on to another phase. And if you happen to meet up with Kanye tell him I said Hi. But not in a “My friend is such a groupie” kinda way. You can say it in a, “Kanye you HAVE to meet my friend, I think you’d like her” kinda way. Yeah, that’s how you do it. But if he tries to holla at you, you betta not tell me about it because I’m gonna be pissed the hell off! Bitch, don’t try me! ~raises eyebrow~

But anyway, I’ll be up there to see you just as soon as that tax return money come thru next year.

Do your thang MA…

Boy…Gimme Dat

The symptoms:

Aching neck, back and shoulders. Increased bitchiness. Fatigue. Insomnia. Irritability. Moodiness.

The cure:

Who has a prescription?

At the End of the Day

I told a lie the other day.

I kinda knew that I was about to lie before I even went in there.

I can’t stop thinking about it.

Several times a day it crosses my mind. Will I get caught? Will it ruin my life? What will my kids say if they knew? How can I despise liars, yet go ahead and lie myself? What kind of a hypocrite am I?

I hate liars. I hate people who feel like they have to make stuff up for people to like them. Come on, people peg me as having EXTREMELY low self esteem and even I don’t lie about who I am.

My heart simply wants to be right. My soul simply longs to be righteous. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t ever want anyone to feel bad about themselves when they are around me.

I can always tell the bad hearts. I can sense it from a mile away. I get this aching feeling when I’m around someonw with a bad heart. Even though they seem to be so sweet and so happy and so strong, for some reason, I can tell. There’s a motive behind their smile. There’s a falseness behind their joy.

I can even tell when I’m reading some blogs. Some people make themselves out to be so smart, so together, so HOT, when they’re not. You can tell just by reading their words. Truly Hot people don’t have to explain themselves. They don’t have to put other people down like that.

I wish more people would be themselves. I wish I came across more blogs where people wrote about real life, instead of trying to start blog wars with their asinine opinions or trying to impress others with their knowledge.

I want to know what you are like when you think no one is looking.

I want to know what you think when you think no one could ever find out.

Who are you without that attitude, that sports car, that degree? Does your sorority make you?

The real you, may not be the most attractive person, but in the end, it’s what you’re working with and one day, everyone will see you for who you really are. You can only pretend for so long. And…who would want to pretend for the rest of their lives?

I am me.

I’m crazy. Emotional. Sloppy. Lazy. Friendly. Hopeful. Cheerful. Still dealing with issues with white folks but hopeful about having a white friend one day. I am in love with my sons. I am in love with my friends. I am so grateful to God simply for being who He is and how much He loves me, even when I sometimes can’t see why He should.

I love this short, nappy headed chick with the sparkling green eyes.

I love this baby mama drama having- daydreaming- fortune scheming-goody goody- who can’t seem to find someone to rub her booty at night.

It’s okay. Cuz at the end of the day, when I wake up my sons, take them to the potty and guide them into my bed, I rest knowing I didn’t do anyone wrong today. I made someone smile today. I spent time with my jitterbugs today. Damn, I didn’t wash dishes today ~shrugs~ But I’m happy cuz I’m loved by many.

And guess what? They all know the REAL me.

And they still love me.

They love me for me.

That’s positive.