Whew!
I made it through the day. Got some really GREAT news early in the day that one of my proposals had been accepted and then I spent the remainder of the early afternoon putting the next phase of my plan into action and so far, it looks like I’m good.
I am so grateful!
Then I got a message from one of the women I met on G+, she invited me to join a BrainTrust which is basically a gathering of the minds for the specific benefit of the person organizing it. You start one, people join to share ideas and resources for your project and you volunteer on others.
I was JUST -whining- talking to Sylvia about that this morning. I was all, “I am so tired of not knowing anybody who can help sharpen my ideas. I need people to TALK to who won’t look at me like I’m crazy when I say I’m organizing this effort on an international level or who won’t say ‘You’re not Jesus’ when I tell them my plans. I just wanna meet some smart people who know they can change things if they try. I’m so conflicted. I need a change of environment.”
She was like, “You’re whining, no I didn’t mean to say that, I mean, basically what you want are friends who can contribute to what you’re trying to do.”
YES!
I realize that during my project, it could have been a lot better had I had other people helping me. Me, with my anti social, stank ass don’t ever reach out and ask for help until it’s too late because I hate depending/waiting on people. There’s too many excuses why they can’t act now. I don’t wait- I DO and figure it out while I’m doing it. Nothing ever happens according to plans and once I accepted that, I plan loosely but I’m open to surprises.
To pull of this next effort and make it become what I want to become I’m going to need HELP. I’m going to have to go MEET people and talk to them even though my heart hurts just thinking about it. I met with so much resistance and anger during my project from people in my community who wouldn’t support me and talked shit about my efforts all because it didn’t benefit them in any way or they didn’t like my take charge personality.
I won’t beg anyone for anything. I ask. That’s it. If you say NO, I move on and figure out how to get it another way. I do nothing that will not benefit everyone involved. If I’m making a move and I invite you to join me better believe you’re coming out of this with something good too. That’s how I show my appreciation but anyway, I hope this goes better than my last effort because so many women will be helped and I can’t wait to see their faces and give them hugs.
Sisters? Friends? Connections? Where are you? What am I doing wrong not to be able to find you?
Work. Work. Work. I am exhausted yet I am so glad my plans are coming together. I a so grateful.