I dont know what happened last night during my sleep but I woke up feeling different.
The first thoughts in my mind when I woke up were, maybe you can change your dream. Why do you need the talk show, the fame and fortune? Is it necessary? Is it REALLY necessary. Maybe it was only necessary because you felt you needed to prove to yourself that you are loved.
Maybe my desire to be loved by millions was a subconcious desire to be loved…period.
Maybe I can just…graduate from grad school and…get a job as a counselor and write my books and encourage others just the way I’ve been doing. Maybe all I really need is to….be able to take care of myself.
So…for now, I don’t need to be a public figure. I don’t need the Cover Girl Cosmetics contract. I dont need the talk show or the fans. I don’t need the big mansion with the drivers and full house staff. A personal chef and housekeeping service will do. Maybe I just need….to give my gift of encouragement, one person at a time. I think I could be satisfied by that.