I slept so damn hard last night.
I woke up this morning feeling tired as though I had been running around all night. I’ve been working on my website so much and constantly breaking links and messing up the template by trying to customize it and it’s getting on my nerves. I still can’t figure out how to install the haloscan comments into this site or my other one so bear with me.
Hmm… I’m thinking that I need to go back to school to learn web & graphic design, it could help me to be more well rounded since I believe the internet is going to be a big part of my journalism career.
I’m feeling very happy right now because I heard from most of my friends today. Kim and I caught up and Ruby and I did too. I even heard from Marsha who told me,”Today is my 1 year anniversary of my breakup with my boyfriend.”
She was excited and honestly I can understand where she’s coming from. She was with this great guy for almost 3 years but even before she got with him she knew that he wasn’t the perfect match for her, though she enjoyed his company and he had almost all of the qualities of a man she could be with forever. The only thing he was missing was a personal relationship with God.
She knew she couldn’t force him to develop one and all of the prayers she sent up weren’t effective so she knew that she had to step away when he began to start talking about marriage. Marsha knows that she can’t create a union with someone who doesn’t value God as much as she does. She’s not interested in training a man. She wants him to come already prepared to be a leader in her household. It took her forever to really let go of that relationship and I’m happy for her.
It seems as though those of us who are trying so hard to live for God have a lot more to consider when it comes to uniting with someone for life. It’s not just about, “Is he nice? Does he treat me well? Does he have significant savings?” He can have all of that and STILL not be the right man if he doesn’t understand the importance of a relationship with God.
But what clarifies a relationship with God? What would I be satisfied with? Well, Marsha wants someone who is Bible breathed and on fire to serve and be dedicated to church. Someone who has a heart for God the way she does and wants to serve God in the same way she does through consistent praise and worship and prayer and church attendance.
I’m more spiritual than religious though I serve God everyday and I don’t think more (or less) of anyone who serves God differently than I do. I guess the man for me would recognize God’s place in His life and would be seeking righteousness too. That’s a very big thing for me in any relationship. I can’t even stand to be around people who aren’t behaving righteously because it hurts my spirit.
No buying things from Walmart and taking them back after you use them. No mean-spirited comments intended to make the other person feel bad about who they are. No trying to get over on people and trick them. No manipulation or indirect communication. No sabotaging others so that you can get ahead.
I hope to attract someone who has the idea that what is yours by divine right will be yours..at the same time maintaining a healthy work ethic like I have. He should live under the principle that you don’t have to manipulate anything to get what God has for you. If a certain job or car you desire is supposed to be yours, then you will receive it a a gift from God without having to force it or struggle to make it happen. Can you trust that God does give perfect gifts even when you feel like you need to control the situation to make it happen?
Oh Lord, I feel like I’m preaching and I’m not really trying to. All I’m saying is you don’t have to finagle your way into a situation or act unethically to make certain things come to pass. All you have to do is live righteously and seek God. He will handle all of the rest of that.
Even if it seems like you have lost something you valued, trust that you will receive its equivalent or better. You can’t lose anything that is yours by divine right. Imagine my situation with my sons. I am their mother by birth and by divine right. No matter where I go or what I do, nothing will change that. If I turn out to be a bum, I’ll still be their Mama, if I end up on the covers of magazines, I will still be their Mama.
It’s the same with with blessings that are divinely ordered for your life. You can’t lose them because they belong to you. If you don’t have what you want right now, it may be because it’s not time or it’s not for you.
Either way you have to trust that you will receive every good thing in the divine plan for your life. You can’t lose.
I’m the control freak here saying this so you KNOW something has to be true about what I’m saying. I like to make my hands move, I like to push and pull to get what I want. Throughout this wild journey that I’m on I’ve had to learn patience and try my best to focus on where God is leading me.
It hurts so much not to be able to rush in and make things happen but when I do that, things never last. Those so called blessings, never last. So I sit and I wait and I trust God to lead me.
God is so smart! He knows what He is doing. So I trust Him.