I know in past semesters I only had to focus on my schoolwork and I made straight A’s. As soon as I had other shit to do, I got a B which I am still going to challenge because I don’t give a fuck what that hoe said, she wasn’t a good teacher, I learned nothing and I did my absolute best which she should have awarded a fucking A. So fuck her and I’m gonna meet with her ass to discuss it next week.
I’m not focused on school and I can FEEL it when I’m sitting in class. It feels like my mind is just out there somewhere and I’m still trying to hustle for money and shit and write articles for extra cash and still get better at both of my jobs plus keep up with this coursework and now..a radio show. ~sigh~
I managed to meet with the owner of our school bookstore and she agreed to let me have a book signing there and gave me the contact info for a professor with a specialization in publishing. I also met with an advisor about my research goals and somehow I feel like they align with the ones she is already working on. She offered to let me be 2nd or 3rd author on the research she’s already doing and I felt like I won the lottery.
Imagine…seeing my name as a 2nd or 3rd author on a real live research article in a psychology journal alongside a real live doctor! Man..I hope I have the time to volunteer for that. After that she says I can do my own research and she can supervise it and be the 2nd author on it. Yay!
Aww man….The biggest thing that came out of my meeting was me really grasping the ideas behind why people get PhD’s. My ideas for research really go well with the PhD program here. A PhD will allow me to help teach other counselors how to help people with problems in my own area of specialization. It will establish me as an expert in my specialization, which is somewhere along the lines of healing self esteem issues when it comes to relationships, maybe. I don’t know. I’m still open. ~sigh~ That sounds so sexy to me.
It’s crazy when I think of it all because I remember in undergrad when my BBDD used to tell me that I wasn’t smart.
“I have 6 requirements for my future wife,” he’d say. “Six S’s and sorry babe, but you’re not smart.”
Whatever. The bitch he’s with may be smart but she dress like my mama and she fake as fuck and she ain’t doin nothing spectacular with her extensive education. I guess everyone has to compromise in some arena. I do believe he got exactly what he deserved.
I’m tired and frazzled and in need of sex and I’m still pissed off about that fucking B.
Lord, please let me calm down before I meet her because I’m liable to tell her how her class sucked and how she ain’t no real fucking teacher anyway and bitch don’t be hating cuz your ass only published ONE lil article and I’m finished with my book.
Man..why can’t I just leave the past in the past and move on?
One B don’t stop my shine. I think it’s my pride having to let that hoe know she ain’t doing SHIT to stop my flow.
~sigh~
I’ma try to let it go.
God, please help me. I don’t see how I can handle all of this research and writing and still manage with my kids and pay child support.
I don’t know how I’m gonna do it all.
I don’t know how…but HOW is unimportant, all I have to do is ask and I will receive.
So here goes….
God, Universe, Infinite Spirit..Please provide a way for me to handle all of these responsibilities, making excellent grades, pushing forward with my goals in writing and research as well as having my sons home with me and being able to completely support us financially and spiritually with no worries.
Ok…now that I’ve asked, all I have to do is wait.
Something big and great is going to happen soon!
Wait and see…