How To Make Money As A Server

Man….The sun is up and I just got back from Denny’s. Tonight was the worst Saturday night that I’ve EVER spent there. There were four servers on the floor and we were all sitting around reading the newspaper most of the night. My God I do love this job!

The people I meet are off the chain. I swear I flirt with everybody who flirts with me. I love to put a smile on a man’s face. I’ll compliment him and bite my lip when I’m talking to him, just so he’ll remember me and ask for me next time. Hahahhaaaaaa!

And I don’t leave the girls out. If they flirt with me, I’ll flirt right back. This one girl I met today was cute and she told me that she’s a stripper and she just got off work.

“Oh yeah, which club you at?” I asked her.

She raised her eyebrow at me. “Why? You gonna come see me?”

“Maybe.” I shot back and she laughed. She slid me a nice tip too! After she left I started imitating her mannerisms. Then a thought flashed…You can play a stripper in a movie. You can be her character. I was like, Huh? Where did that come from?

Anyway…I know how to get that money. Give them what they want. It’s easy. Give everything to them just like they like it. Smile. Make a joke or give a compliment. Play a character, be so sweet and innocent. If something goes wrong, apologize. Be sincere. They’ll stare up at you and smile. If it’s a guy who is by himself, ask him about his day and pay attention to him. Start a conversation with him. If he’s on the phone, pretend you’re a jealous girlfriend and ask him who he’s talking to in a demanding way. He’ll think it’s cute and you can start a conversation. He’ll start imagining that you are his girlfriend; completely intrigued by you. You’ve entertained them for an hour and they’ll gladly pay for that.

These two tall Black men came in this morning and they were so drunk. One was more drunk than the other. The Less Drunk Man reminded me of Donovan so much. Everything about his swagger and his face. When I saw them I smiled and said, “I can probably get like $15 out of them.”

I sat them down and did my little innocent schoolgirl act while one of them picked on me about my name. He kept saying it over and over again and laughing. “Yo Mama ain’t name you that!” he told me. “You’re lieing!”

He was drunk so I didn’t care. Then another woman joined them at the table and I took care of her too. As I walked by again to check on them they asked me to sit down so they could tell me a story about what happened earlier.

Apparently, the two guys went out to South Beach with 2 other guyfriends. One of the guyfriends brought a woman with him. The Drunk Guy and one of the other guys actually approached the woman who came with their friend and both of them got her number.

When the guy who brought the girl saw what happened, he left South Beach. He was their ride. They had to take a cab.

Now these two guys were talking about the situation and the Drunk Guy was saying that the guy was a punk for leaving them all there. I agreed and then asked why he would try to holla at a girl who came with his friend. He was stuck. Everybody else at the table agreed and flipped it on him. He had been going on and on about how the dude was wack but now everyone was discussing how wrong he was for trying his friend.

“If I were him I would have left you too,” I said and stood up to go check on another table.

Then there was this guy who came in by himself. He was a Spanish man, in his early 40’s probably. He was in such a rush to get his food because he said he had started working at 6am and was just getting off and his wife is asleep and he needed something hot. He told me about his restaurant and his wife’s interior design business.

“Wow. You must be proud of yourselves, both of you are entrepreneurs and taking such good care of each other.”

“Yeah,” he said and smiled down at his Grand Slam.

When he left he told me manager that I gave “Fucking great” service. I laughed as he handed me a fat tip.
And my last table of the morning was two men who came in and sat in another section. The server over there asked me to take them and I gladly did because tables filled with men tip very well.
I chatted with them, they teased me a little. One of the guys was more aggressive in trying to flirt with me but his friend warned me, “Don’t mess with him. He’ll mess up your whole life.”
When it was time to settle the bill they were trying to split it themselves.
“Look,”I said and read the number. “Just round it up to $30 and you both pay $15 a piece.”
“Ok,” they said.
“Oh, don’t forget the tip,” one of the men reminded the other.
“Ok, that takes it up to $20 a piece. That’s $5 for you and $5 for you.”
They handed over the money.
“Thanks for coming in guys! Come back and see me next week!”

I love that shit.