I just got a HUGE plate of food and when I opened it, my hunger went away. How crazy…
I had a crazy night at Denny’s last nite, I met this one handsome man who was born 5 days after me on the same year. He told me about his relationship issue, he cheated on his girl 4 years ago and had a daughter and his girl broke up with him. He’s still in love with the girl and they spend time together but she won’t say that she is with him. He wants her to, but she says she’s not ready.
He’s getting annoyed about waiting on her and he’s met many women in the meantime but he says he can’t get close to anyone because he doesn’t want to be tied down to anyone in case his ex comes back. I really didn’t know what to say to him about that…No advice.
In thinking about relationship woes I have to think about Tamara and her current situation. Although it’s not a woe to HER, cuz it seems that she will be getting what she has wanted for a long time; getting back with her ex, I think it’s a woe.
I’m trying to support her in what she wants and I think I’m doing a good job of it at the same time….I dont want her to get back with him. Yeah, he treats her well, they vibe well and according to her, the secks is great but…its his character that bothers me. I really don’t understand why she’s so hung up on him which makes sense because she can’t understand why she feels that way too.
You can’t help who you love…That’s what she always tells me.
I have to see this man when I go visit her for her birthday. I have to suck up my distaste for him and smile at him and laugh with him. I have to pretend that he’s someone I would welcome in my life although his character is completely opposite. Honestly, it’s making me look at HER differently. If his spirit is one that she is attracted to…maybe there’s more about HER that I don’t know or haven’t recognized yet. Like attracts like.
Ughh…I was trying to write erotica the other day, a story about a woman who fucks her bestfriends man. I wanted to explore what that would do to the dynamic of the relationship and to the two individuals in their personal development as they reach a pivotal age in their lives. When I shared my idea with Tamara she immediately said, “You really want *ex* don’t you? LOL”
That fucked my whole story up. Even though when I was writing it, I was thinking of her as the best friend, in no way and form was I thinking of HIM. She immediately put him in there although she claims he’s not her man. Yeah…right.
I couldn’t even finish the story cuz his face kept creeping up in my mind as I was writing.
I don’t know why she feels that he is what she deserves. I think she can do better. I know that’s insulting but I don’t mean it that way. Man, I don’t know. I just don’t know how I can pretend to be happy about it when I’m not. Or how she can actually invite this HOE she knows disrespected me more than once to her birthday party. Like….why? You want drama, don’t you?
I swear, friendships are wayy more complicated than romantic relationships and it takes so much to keep them going because it’s a choice to be there. You don’t have any kids together, you’re not forced to call or stay in touch. No one is MAKING you be a part of their life and share struggles and celebrations. But you DO choose to be there…and you’re grateful that someone else chooses to be a part of your life and you’re grateful that someone wants you to be a part of theirs too.
But I know it was hard for her to watch me go through all those years of heartache with my own BBDD and she listened and was upset with me and for me. She didn’t walk away.
If she loves this man, there HAS to be something about him that is good. I just…don’t see it yet. I’m trying though. I just remember…man…never mind.
It was a whole different story when I went to Louisiana to visit Ruby and her man. Ruby’s man didn’t give off that “bullshit” vibe. He was sincere and nice and he has his flaws but they weren’t like character flaws, they were just immaturity. He and I still keep in touch through facebook even though they broke up a long time ago. Tamara’s ex deleted me as a friend as soon as they broke up. Is he gonna try to add me back now? Puhlease!
She deserves more. She deserves better. I don’t understand why she wants this and it hurts so much that I sometimes cry when I’m listening to her talk about him and how they’re seeing each other again. He’s slimy. He’s sneay. He’s a liar. He lied to ME. He lied to HER. He lied to her family. SHIT!
But…if that’s what she imagines for her life…so be it. If that’s what she wants..I have to be there to smile and be happy, at least on the outside. But for now..I just have to listen…
