I am in like….total bliss right now…
Yeah…a lot of stuff is up in the air but I’ve been there a million times and it only leads to adventure. I sure do have an idea of the adventure I’d like to experience next.
See…
I met a bad one…
And I don’t mean big booty pretty or anything like that…I just mean… I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Suddenly, I’m not afraid to be myself. Suddenly, I’m envisioning myself with another baby and a family. Suddenly, I’m looking at myself in the mirror knowing that someone out there thinks I’m great and loves vibing with me.
I met this girl…
She is super amazing. Like..not only is she creative, but she’s an open minded person too. She’s sooo boyish…and I love that. From her jeans to her cap, and her long braided hair- oh gosh…. I get so excited when I even think of her. She’s what they call a “stud” in the gay world.
And she’s beautiful… She says I am more beautiful than she is but I can’t even agree…
And at first I was scared because with most dudes I was always in control….I could control my feelings and interactions with them. I could cut them off and never think twice about it. I never lost out on anything, to me.
But with her…she makes the pace. She’s slowing me down, which is what I realize i used to do- go FAST…mainly because I wanted it to hurry up and end. Another way to sabotage your relationships.
But with her…she is not having it.
And we talk every minute we can. And we fall asleep on the phone at night. And we miss each other when we can’t talk. The expression of emotion between us is so amazing. We talk about how we feel. We communicate on a whole different level. We communicate for understanding instead of dominance. She is so goofy. She makes me laugh all day and nite. I love waking up in the mornings to her text messages. She is so sweet….
My heart is hurting right now and she just told me she’d call me back. What the fuck is this?
She’s so beautiful….
So beautiful….
I have no idea what’s happening and I’m scared and excited at the same time.