Last night I was talking to my bestfriend and I was excited about my vision for my life and sharing with her the things I hope to accomplish. I shared with her my uncertainty about how I was going to achieve my goals, being that I can not pursue my dreams relentlessly because I have a responsibility to my family. I can’t just pick up and move. I can’t just fly all over the US, chasing opportunities and hoping for a break. Whether or not my current job has anything to do with my vision for my life, I have to stay. I have to pay the bills.
I’m such a doer. I’m such a goer. I always believed that if I worked hard enough, if I put myself out there, If I could just get my hands dirty, I could make something happen. So, having this grand vision and not being able to do anything about it has really been getting to me.
But then I remembered Joseph from the Bible, he also had a vision. As he sat in his pit and looked at his circumstances, I’m sure he couldn’t imagine how that vision would ever come to pass. Even when he was thrown in jail he probably sat confused, thinking, “God, how could you give me such a vision and then allow me to end up here?”
While I know that God did not create my circumstances, I know that He is well able to guide me fully into my heart’s desire. That is what brings me joy. Even though I can’t touch my dreams, I can’t see how they are going to happen and there’s nothing more that I can do on my own to help make them become a reality, I smile because I have a promise. I smile because a promise from God is not to be taken lightly. A promise from God is a done deal.
I am overwhelmed because I realize this. I’m come such a long way to be standing on His word, instead of feeling sorry for myself and being miserable everyday. It’s incredible when you see your own growth. I find my joy in His promise to me, regardless of what today looks like.
Part II
When my bestfriend, Anna and I get on the phone, it’s usually a marathon. We encourage each other in our walks with God, we talk about how we want to raise our children and we also dream together. Last night I said to her, “Anna, what is your vision for yourself? When you think about your future and you see yourself as successful and happy, what are you doing?”
She thought about it for a moment and replied, “I want to get my Master’s degree and become a good teacher and be happy teaching and in the future counsel young women. I think what these young girls are missing is a person who is willing to be honest with them about growing up. Everyone is always out to try to make themselves look like they never did any wrong. These girls don’t need that because when they do mess up, they won’t ask anyone for guidance because they think they’ll be judged and condemned.”
Because I know my bestfriend very well I gently prodded her for her true thoughts, “What about a family? When I think of success I think of having a family.” She caught her breath and sighed. “Honestly, Tee, when you first asked me that question, the first thing I thought about was being a wife. But I didn’t want to say that aloud.”
I began to encourage her because like so many others she was afraid to admit that what mattered most to her was being loved and appreciated. We tend to hide behind the façade of success as we chase six-figures and fame, but to most this is just a cover-up for what they really want. Underneath all the bling bling and finer things, everyone wants to be loved.
Don’t be afraid to admit that. If the purest desire in your heart is to be a wife, husband or parent that is just as honorable as being a CEO. No, your vision may not be to impact the world, but just imagine what that child you will produce will do. You could be the vessel for the next great leader. You could be the gateway for the person to cure a disease or save millions of lives. Your child will be the love of someone’s life someday. That is why your heart is so passionate for family. That child you will one day carry needs a parent just like you. That child needs a parent who is dedicated to training him up in a Godly home with righteous parents.
Your love, attention and devotion will be just the right soil for him to blossom into what God is calling him to do. Don’t be ashamed of your calling. It is just as important as the next persons. If you are called to be a parent, that is an amazing responsibility and blessing. If what you desire most is to have a family and live right before God, that is okay. Don’t be afraid to admit that you want to be loved. That is why God sent His son for us. He wanted to show His love, because He knew we needed it.
Much Love,
PS- I may not be perfect, but I am still standing.