Do Yo Thang BET!

Oh my gosh! Did you watch the BET awards last night? I usually don’t watch awards shows because they are boring as hell. Remember the one Will Smith hosted in Miami? I fell asleep after an hour.

But this one was spectacular. EVERY.SINGLE.PERFORMANCE- was breathtaking. Every act kept my eyes wide open. I had just put my sons in the bed and closed their door when I heard a familiar voice coming from the TV in my room.

Wait a minute. Naw… Come on…Is that? Is that LAURYN HILL? OH MY GOSH! ~screams~ Lauryn Hill is performing with the Fugees! It’s a REUNION! I sat at the foot of my bed, my mouth ajar, my hands clasped together, holding my breath. I’m examining her for signs of life. I’m looking to see how she looks. Is she alright? Can she still sing? She kinda looked like Sonny Bono from Sonny and Cher. She had on an outfit like he would wear and she had on a wig that looked like his haircut.

This woman.

This woman.

I love this woman.

Remember when she first came out with the Fugees? Man! Lauryn Hill was FIRE!!! And then rememeber when she came out with the Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill? ~faints~ Wasn’t that shit a CLASSIC?!!!

I remember me, my boyfriend, his roommate Kenya and her boyfriend sitting around listening to this CD over and over. We were all stunned by the magnitude of her talent. I even remember Kenya saying, “I can not believe that someone of this caliber is in MY AGE GROUP. She is one of my peers.” Wow.

That first album was about pain and her yearning to heal. It spoke to so many of us and captivated us. It held onto our hearts with every track. EVERY DAMN TRACK.

I used to love him, but now I don’t.
I used to love him, but now I don’t.

It’s funny how money change a situation
Miscommunication lead to complication
My emancipation don’t fit your equation
I was on the humble you on every station

No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain’t workin’ (it ain’t workin’)
And when I try to walk away
You hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy.. This is crazy…

Everybody told me to be smart
Look at your career they said
Lauryn baby use your head
But instead I chose to use my heart
Now the JOYYYYY of my WORLD is in ZION!

I used to sing this song to myself when I was pregnant with my first son, whose name rhymes with Zion.

I just couldn’t believe I was watching her stand there with Wyclef ol dirty ass-The man who tried her. I told my friend, “I can’t believe she up there with him!” and my friend remarked, “That is the power of forgiveness Tee. That is the power of forgiveness.”

Forgive deez nuts!

He ain’t nuttin without her! Ol dirty ugly self.

Ok, back to the show.

So after I finish crying because I am so happy to see her again, (Yes, I cried. I cry all the time when I’m happy ~shrugs~) I remove my sweat pants and move on to the living room. I never sit in there and tonight, for some reason I want to chill in the underused living area.

Sylvia calls me so we watch the show together over the phone.

Did you see Alicia Keyes?!!! I don’t even know what award she won but that chick looked so good. I love her body type. It’s not like she’s one of those super skinny chicks and she is not loose meat either, she is just right. In fact, let me just clear the air:

Dear Alicia Keyes,

I am sorry for hating on you all this time. I didn’t really mean it when I said I thought you were ugly. The truth is I can’t believe how tight you are. You are every woman. You are a beautiful woman with a great personality. You are amazingly talented and you exude a confidence that most women wish they had. No more hatin for me. Sorry…

Did you see the lap dance that Destiny’s Child did?!! All three of them went into the audience and pulled three men up on stage to sing their song called Cater to You. What a way to say goodbye! I almost got a woody watching that! And I was so embarrassed for Magic Johnson. Why would Michelle’s goofy behind pull MAGIC JOHNSON on the stage for a lap dance when his wife is sitting right there?!!! Kelly pulled Nelly on stage ~delicious~ And Beyonce pulled Terrence something or other on stage. Remember him? He was the guy in the Best Man who was light skinned with light eyes and was constantly actin a fool and playin the guitar hatin on women!

This is the same man who stood on the stage with my homegirl, EVA THE DIVA. I love her! He announced that he is going to be on the cover of next month’s Essence magazine. Mmm, hmm. Already got my subscription! I love magazines!

Anyway.. Mariah Carey came on and sang, well, I forgot what she sang but she sounded so good! I never really looked at her before. She’s kinda pretty. Go MARIAH!

So I’m mixing the order of the artists up, but it doesn’t matter.

I love that song with Missy and Ciara called Lose Control! I have YET to go and out and dance to that song and I plan to do it soon! The performance by Ciara was OFF THE CHAIN!

That chick really proved herself to be the next BIG thing. Like she will become a CLASSIC like Janet Jackson. She is amazing. I’m on the phone with Sylvia and while Ciara is performing we’re both quiet as a mouse.

I break the silence by saying, “I bet you can’t do that.”
“Hell no I can’t,” she responds.

So can you believe WILL SMITH was on there looking like a fool? When I heard that he and Jada would host the show I flipped. First of all, I love Will Smith in action movies, but outside of that, dude annoys me. Well, except for the whole “Swinging” thing. I found that VERY interesting, he he! But uh, anyway, I HATED him as the host of this show. Jada should have done it by herself. He is suck a dork. We are not kids anymore. No one wants to see him actin dumb like that. GROW UP WILL! ~rolling eyes~

Jada was sooo cute though. And so tiny! Did you see that white dress she wore at the end? Amazing! I seriously need to lose this gut that I have acquired. I am feeling so fat after watching her lil behind.

Can I just say this to be real? I won’t go into detail and I ‘m usually not like this but I can’t help it. FAT JOE is ugly. For real. Ugh…. Ok, I’m done.

John Legend and Stevie Wonder performed live together! I was about to die! After all these years and some serious weight gain for Stevie, he still sounds JUST THE SAME. His voice was as strong as ever and I am still in awe over the life he led and the obstacles he overcame. And John Legend was so adorable. I’m sitting there and I’m thinking, “I bet even before he became famous, he prolly got all the chicks.” He’s a true artist. Much respect to him and I hope for longevity in his career.

My girl Mary J. was there singing with some guy called The Game. Who is this dude? Why do I have to keep reading, excuse me, skipping over articles about him and a feud with 50 cent– WHO I HATE!? Who cares?!!

I don’t give a damn about you Mr. Game. Get the hell off of my TV screen. ~rolls eyes~

T.I. was there! I think. I mean, he was so short I couldn’t believe that was him. His videos make him seem so much taller. ~raises eyebrow~

And ugh, did I see Michael Ealy on there looking like a crackhead. He was NOT cute AT ALL last night. I am removing your picture from my desk honey. Daddy Yankee is getting your spot. Sorry…

But remember my baby Nick Cannon? ~sigh~ He was looking so delicious last night. He still makes my heart jump, but like my friend said to me the other day, “He look like he play too much.”

Usher, Kanye and Denzel all won big awars but none of them showed up. The person who wrote the speech for that dude who announced the Humanitarian award for Denzel and his wife should be given a raise! That speech was very well written. I should be a speech writer, I could definately do that. And oh my gosh, the speech that his wife Pauletta gave- my GOODNESS! Talk about an articulate and wonderful woman. I felt her spirit leap out and touch me with its goodness. I hope to stand as a remarkable woman right next to a remarkable man someday.

All in all, I stayed up until the very end. I spoke with about 4 friends on the phone while I was watching the show (Hey, Ruby went to Canada yesterday) but I managed to divide my attention enough to enjoy the wonderful evening that BET presented. I am very proud of them.