Finally Friday

Anyone out there wanna rub my feet?

silence.

Crickets.

I guess not.

I don’t care. My feet are really hurting from the MONSTER of an event we had tonight. We dedicated our new athletic field and it was a very nice ceremony and everyone enjoyed themselves except ME. People at my school think my department is all about partying but we don’t get to party when we have an event. We’re working! Well, at the end of the evening we get to enjoy some wine or whatever but we’re always making sure that everyone else is having fun.

I spoke to ONE person I didnt know. It was a black woman. She was there with one of our biggest donors. They anounced his name and hers, she was his fiance.

I was like, DAMNNNN! She looked like a round-the-way girl just like I am. And he was OLD! I thought to myself, “Self. Since you’re not interested in love or sex, you might as well marry a rich white man. At least he’ll be nice to you and spoil you. And he’ll probably adore you.”

So, thats my plan. So if you know any old rich white men with an interest in partially ghetto Black women with shaved heads,kids and green eyes- send them my way.

But that’s not the kicker. Get this- This morning, my baby daddy came over to pick up the boys. I walked outside to get my younger son’s bookbag out of my car and what did I see? My baby daddy just copped a JAGUAR!

Yes, A JAGUAR!

I was so happy for him at first. I mean, when I was with his broke ass, he didnt even have any furniture in his apt. He drove a Suzuki sidekick that cost him $120 a month. He grew up crazy poor and now he’s a very successful attorney. I’m proud of him. I wish we could be friends and I could celebrate with him. If he was my friend, I would have been huggin him and asking to sit in the drivers seat. I would have asked to take a picture sitting on it.

I am still proud of him. Even though he acts stank with me.

I still don’t get why he hates me so much. ~shrugs~ But I never will.

I mean, if you supposedly don’t care about a person, wouldn’t that make you indifferent to them? We all know the opposite of love is not hate, its indifference. I would rather him be indifferent toward me than how spiteful he is now.

But oh well. Really I’m so used to him acting mean that I’m numb to it. I expect it.

But that doesn’t mean I deserve it.

I’m just beginning to recognize that it’s not my fault that he didn’t know how to love me.

Ok, I have to go. Sylvia is at the door and she rented CRASH for us to watch tonight.

Later…