Keeping Promises

I just got off the phone with my boys.

I got home and rested my feet while resting my eyes. I guess you call that sleeping. I slept for a couple of hours and made myself a screwdriver and sat on the back porch to return phone calls. Before I could get started, my sons call me.

I’m feeling great being outside as the sun sets. I’m feeling nice just sipping my drink in the breeze and talking to my boys. I’m at the patio table with my feet up in the chair across from me. My boys are sharing the phone telling me stories.

“I have bumps all over my belly, Mama. Daddy’s taking me to the doctor.”

“I’m gonna be in the Black History program and this is what I have to say…..”

I always ask them about their little friends and they fill me in on who they are and why they are friends. I ask them that question because I want to reinforce what kind of people they should surround themselves with. I tell them, “You’re a good boy who is nice, smart, kind and obedient so you should hang around others just like you.”

Somehow the conversation became a lecture on why drinking water is good for you. I reminded them of the time I was in the hospital and how my kidneys were sick because I wasn’t drinking enough water.

“You have to clean your INSIDES just as much as you clean your OUTSIDES,” I emphasize. They then began a long line of questioning about my stay in the hospital. The boys never visited me there. I didn’t want them to see me up in there.

“Remember when I got out of the hospital and it was my birthday?” I asked with a smile.

“Yeah!” My four year old squealed. “It was your birthday and you were sick.”

“But you bought me a cake and a balloon. I remember that.”

“You remember how you used to be in the bed and we would come in and sleep with you?” my Boo Boo asked.

“Yeah baby. I remember.”

“Mama…When are we going to come live with you again?”he asked with a hint of a whine in his voice.

My heart broke again and I choked up. It took a moment for to compose myself but I did.

“I know baby. I miss you too. I want to be with you but Mama has to work hard so she can be stable. I want a nice place to live and be able to take care of us. Mama’s working hard. I want you so bad. I just need some time to figure out how I can take care of us. I’ve been trying so many things.”

“But I want to be with YOOUUU…” he whined.

“I know baby. I wanna be with you too. We WILL be together. I promise. Just enjoy this time with your Daddy because he loves you too and wants to be with you too.”

“Mama. Remember when you came down to Miami?” he asked softly.

“Yeah baby. Wasn’t that fun? We went to the beach.”

“Mama. I want you come back and do it again. Four times. No, ten times. Can you do that Mama?”

“Just as soon as I can baby we’re gonna have so much fun when I come.”

“Can we get a car with a TV in it and a sunroof?”

“Ok, Mama. We’re going to bed now.”

“Ok, baby. BABY! Remember that Mommy is working hard for you. We’re going to be together. You hear me?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight Mama.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow.”

The intense pain resonating through my body right now is no joke.

I never make a promise that I can’t keep.

I’m going to make “it” happen.

Whatever “it” may be.

I love you boys!