My boys have started playing sports.
My 5 year old plays t-ball and my 7 year old plays soccer.
The other day my friend Lem IMed me to ask about my boys and I told him about their sports and he said, “You’re a soccer Mom!”
I almost died laughing.
“When are you gonna go get that soccer ball sticker and put it on the back of your car?” he asked.
“Shut up!”
Every Saturday they have practice and I go to watch and cheer them on. This is a very interesting time for me because after so many years of never having to be in the same place with my son’s father, I am now not only in the same place with him but also his girlfriend.
The first day we were both there was an eye opening experience for me. Their Dad was out of town so she had the boys and brought them to practice. Watching my sons get out of her car and run up to me didn’t make me feel as badly as I thought it would.
For the first time I am the outside parent.
Looking at her after all of these years and remembering how I used to ignore her whenever I saw her made me feel bad. I used to think she took something away from me. Now I know she didn’t. So I decided to be cordial and ask her a few questions. She was okay with that.
In my quest to find a reason to be grateful in every situation, when I look at her I remind myself that I am grateful that she is a positive influence in their lives.
One Saturday I sat back and looked at them as a couple as they sat side by side on the bleachers. Something clicked.
They sure are a good match for each other. Not only are their personalities similar, they just look like they are on the same level, if you understad what I mean.
Some couples just LOOK like they belong together and to me, they do.
I don’t feel bad when I see them together although I used to. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by not being with him.
Since I have traveled and met so many creative, successful professionals..it’s like..he’s not the top dog anymore. Any woman that is thinking that the man they lost is the best they will ever have…all I have to say is, meet more men. I assure you that you will find you are mistaken.
The best you will ever have will never walk away from you.
The best you will ever have will probably think you are too good to be true.
In order to receive the best you will ever have in a relationship I think it’s important to really understand that..it’s not necessary to even be in a romantic relationship. I think it’s the neediness that causes us to sabotage the relationship. Don’t stress about it. It will come.
I’m sure it feels good to be romanced and caressed and all that but..I won’t die if I don’t get it. I won’t crumble if no one ever tells me they love me again. In fact, I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on anything.
When I see my son’s father with his long-time girlfriend I think to myself, “I’m happy that they have found each other. We obviously weren’t a good match.” It’s not a big deal like it used to be.
My guyfriend once said to me that when a couple is in a long-term romantic relationship that simply means that one or both of them are still weighing their options on whether the relationship is a good fit for them.
I told him that I disagreed. I don’t think marriage is the goal in some relationships, some people just want to…relate. You know, be friends, share experiences, share life. I think there’s too much pressure to couple up and get married.
If you find somebody that you like, just chill and enjoy it. I don’t ever want to be with someone and stressing myself about whether or not he’s going to marry me.
I don’t even want some man stressing me about marrying him either. Maybe I’m looking at things this way because I already have two children so I’m not under a time table to procreate.
Life is life and I choose to allow things to unfold as they are supposed to.
I’m not stressing about anything and I’m not letting anything get to me.
I’ve found peace through this decision.