My life is a miracle.
Today was a spectacular day, but it had a few bumps which I’ll try not to focus on.
I couldn’t sleep at all last night, I was so caught up in this particular fear that I have. It seems like it’s the only thing holding me back from maintaining complete peace about everything in my life. I won’t even mention what it is because I’ve learned that the more you talk about negative things the more you attract them into your life, plus, I am daring to be different from the masses whose constant conversation is about lack, fear and criticism of others.
But that doesn’t mean in my heart I’m not fearful that this desire won’t come to pass.
While I was up late last night trying to get a grip on my emotions I came across this phrase concerning how the law of attraction works. It read:
If you want it and you relax, it will happen.
I felt tingles all over.
I do want it. I will relax. It will happen in the proper time.
So then I decided to have some fun and practice manifesting. It’s so much fun to do and I’ve seen things I want appear like magic.
My definition of manifesting: Those things that occur as a result of your desire and focus.
So I decided to manifest something simple.
I concentrated and thought, “I want an e-mail to come in right now.”
I focused on that thought for 5 seconds and then I laughed and started reading again.
No lie- 15 seconds later, my email alert chimed.
That shit scared the hell out of me!
“Ok God,” I said to myself as I glanced around into the darkness of the house. “I believe you. This works.”
The other day I thought to myself, “I’d like to receive money in the morning hours this week.”
I let go of the thought and went about my business.
Just yesterday morning I was talking to my aunt as I drove her to work and she says, “Here you go.” and she hands me two folded bills, a whole two days earlier than I was expecting it.
yeah…spooky!
Today was also a crazy day emotionally because when Kim called I heard a male voice in the background. It was her boyfriend.
Wow. Kim has a boyfriend.
That may not be that big of a deal to you but for my friends, it is. We don’t (except for Anna) have “boyfriends” easily. A boyfriend is a big deal because for us it means that this is someone that we are considering being with in a marriage. We don’t really date for fun.
Well, I have been doing that lately but…it’s not the norm.
“I want to speak to him,” I told Kim and she put him on the phone. We chatted easily and I concentrated on feeling his vibe and I liked what I felt. He has a calm spirit and a sweet voice but I think he lacks focus. But since Kim is a motivator like me, I’m sure she’ll get him on the right track soon.
Kim has a boyfriend.
Why does that hurt my heart?
I do want her to be happy and I enjoy all of the stories that she is now sharing about how he treats her like the princess that she is. And Kim is definitely a princess with a capital ‘P’. According to the stories she is telling me, he takes great care of her, is thoughtful, consistent and extremely encouraging.
Maybe I’m a little jealous because she and I used to be each other’s main companion and I rarely speak to her lately. She’s always with him.
I feel left out.
But on the flip side I have a feeling I’ll be so busy in the New Year that I probably won’t even notice.
These days I’m writing stories regularly for a small newspaper in Ft. Lauderdale. The pay is about a hundred dollars a story, but usually I can write them without even moving from the couch so it’s not that difficult.
My reporting skills are good, but the stories aren’t good enough for me to add to my portfolio. I asked my editor for feedback and he told me, “Just because it’s a news story doesn’t mean that you can’t lead with an anecdote.”
Uhh..yeah. I’ve been trying to go so HARD with the facts of the events that I forget to personalize it and make it jazzy which is my usual style of writing. I must not be that bad because he keeps assigning me stories. This Friday I will finally go visit the office and meet the staff, one of which, the designer, used to work with me back when I was at the PR firm. I loved her and always said that if I ever worked for a print publication, I’d try to pull her on my team.
She’s a winner! She has a winning attitude and great design skills. I look forward to seeing her again.
Speaking of winners…
My sons showed me so much love tonight. I picked them up from school and we picked up some pizza to celebrate their grandaddy’s birthday, which is today. He was so happy to see them. I can tell he enjoyed his birthday. He was so happy he even hugged ME. I was shocked.
And when I came home after dropping the boys back to their Dad’s house, my Mama even hugged me and told me, “Thank you for making this a great birthday for your Dad.”
I froze as I stood at the kitchen sink, my hands immersed in the dish water.
“Mama! I manifested this!” I said.
She rolled her eyes and asked, “Manifested what, Tee?”
Today while I was driving back from taking my aunt to work, I set an intention. “I want to receive appreciation from someone today,” I thought to myself. “A hug would be nice but I’d rather have words.”
I’ve been feeling rather lost in space lately. Kind of disconnected because I don’t have Kim anymore, I guess. I wanted to feel like my life meant something to someone, so I set that intention out and forgot about it until I got the hug from my Mama. She never hugs! We aren’t an affectionate family.
This manifesting stuff DOES work.
Everyday I’m going to try to manifest something and see what comes. Now if I could only let go of the emotional attachment that I have to my BIGGEST desire, then maybe it will show up.
I’ll continue to practice more and watch…it’ll happen.