OMG!
Not even 2 hours after I finally fell asleep this morning, my phone rings and it’s Ruby. I’m in the middle of a weird dream where I’m match making a group of people on a stage. Weird.
Anyway. I don’t answer because I’m so tired but then the doorbell rings and it’s the FIRST poolman they hired saying he left some equipment here. I’m like, “So?”
Of course I couldn’t go back to sleep after that so I wash my face and call Ruby back. We engage in a lively discussion about how the opportunities to make something of yourself abound in this country for those who decide they want something better.
“I’m getting my mop done,” she tells me. “I’m going to visit my old job in Memphis tomorrow.”
I laugh as I remember how when I first met her, we stood talking outside of the J (journalism) school in undergrad and she was looking so jazzy and I complimented her and she said, “Girl, I’m going to pick up my last paycheck because I got fired from my job, but, you never let them see you sweat.”
I have a lot of respect for Ruby. We go through our ups and downs but as we evolve it’s becoming apparent that we respect each other’s decision making for life choices so it’s always an encouragement to speak with her. She has truly created the life that she always wanted, a far upswing from how much we celebrated her first job out of college where she earned $27,000 a year.
“Dude,” I said. “The weirdest thing keeps happening. I keep getting people I don’t know who tell me that I’m a blessing, when they have no idea about the work I put in to empower women.”
“Real recognize real,” she explained easily. “Folks who can’t accept themselves or don’t love themselves won’t have an easy time loving you because they see you don’t play those silly games that they have to play to get people to like them. You, you don’t care. Anyway, if a thousand Chinamen say they saw the same thing, it has to be true. If they say you are a blessing, they must be able to feel it.”
Regardless, I was talking to my cab driver this morning. He asked me not to sit behind him and I was like, “Man, I don’t feel like moving over.” And he said, “But I don’t feel comfortable with people sitting behind me.”
I could understand that, so I moved and we had a really cool convo as he drove me home. I told him about Google Plus and how awesome it is to meet talented people with such varied interests. He told me about how he hates the drama of facebook and doesn’t even go on there anymore.
“Facebook is on a decline,” I shared with him. “It’s like high school. When you’re in it, it’s fun but you have to grow up sometime.”
So this morning when I got home I made this sign. I think I’m going to make one everyday to depict how I’m feeling.
I’m so excited about the money I made last night. I asked my manager for a set schedule of days so I can plan my days off better. I don’t really care which days he gives me but my lack of sleep is affecting my work with the rotating shifts so it would be easier on me to know when I’m coming in. We’ll see if he does it. I’m going to become a part of the Occupy.Wall.Street movement, just as a sympathizer because I do not like all the anger and women being unsafe during those marches, I know that my ideas are smart enough to help in some way. I just need some stable days off from work so that I can plan to attend meetings.
Otherwise, Oh, I got my first product review request. Now I have to remember who it was that offered to do product reviews for my site so I can get their mailing address and have the products sent to them directly.
I got a donation last week for my project and that made me so happy! I rarely check my PO Box so that was a very nice surprise.
I have something to look forward to now. I’m saving for my car and it’s looking good. I’m going to ask the Older Man to come with me when I go buy it and I’m so excited because- that will be the last time I’ll need to call him for help. I wonder if we’ll have a relationship at all if I don’t need his help. He gives me rides when i need it, that’s how he helps me and I really appreciate it but I feel bad when I have to ask. The hard part is, he doesn’t want or need anything from me. I know he’ll be glad to not have me calling him for rides. He’ll be able to move on to helping other people.
That’s what he does. It’s like his second nature. He’s told me stories about how women reach out to him for help and he responds immediately. People are always asking him for help and he helps each time. So I guess that’s a good thing that I ran into him when I need help but luckily by next month, I’ll just be another person he USED to help.
I’m excited!
Oh. Good news.
I’m moving forward with my marketing plans for my next venture. I try to stay focused on this even though so many things are taking away my attention. When I’m feeling frustrated I just remind myself, “You are on a mission. This place you’re in is a bridge to get to where you want to go. This isn’t your resting place. Shrug it off.”
And I do.
Even if everyone around you is creating chaos and you’re tempted to be distracted by all the noise, you gotta remember that NOTHING IS PERMANENT and don’t allow people who feel they are stuck to make you feel like you are too.
I really hope one day, the words that I capture on this blog are studied by millions of people. I am truly capturing my process of “becoming” and I think it’s important to see how to handle certain situations that could drag you down if you let them. I hope lots of people read these words one day and understand that the people or circumstances around you don’t define you- YOU DEFINE YOU.
So I make mistakes and I may still but then I get back going again.
And I keep moving.
