There’s something magical about Valentines Day. Every year I get so happy and giggly and feel all smooshy inside.

And it’s weird because I never have a Valentines but I feel special anyway. I feel great because I know that I’m gonna hear from ALL of my friends. We’re gonna text message jokes, email well wishes and call each other to sing, ~I just called to say…I love you. I just called to say how much I care…. I just called, to say, I LOVE YOU! And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”~

Wow. I pray that you all can experience what I have experienced in the realm of friendships. There have only been a couple of women who have walked in and subsequently walked out of my life. For some reason, I attract great women and men and we love each other, unconditionally.

I was able to buy my son’s grandparents gifts. I also sent my boys to school with treats for their friends and teachers.

“Mama,” my older son said. “We don’t have a present for you.”
“That’s okay, just give me a big hug and tell me you love me. That’s all I need.”

Today I look so cute. I’m wearing a new pair of jeans that fit like whoa- and ofcourse a red, low cut top with a white undershirt that peeks out beneath the red blouse. I feel so fly. Strutting my stuff all across campus and smiling like I’m on the red carpet.

Tonight after I put the boys to bed, I’m gonna wear all white and go out with my friends, probably to have some drinks and laugh.

So many people love me that it would be difficult for me NOT to have a great Valentines Day. Men breeze in and out like the seasons, but friends, well MY friends, are down for me throughout all weathers or all whethers.

On a beautiful, sunny day like this you can’t help but notice the trees, enjoy the breeze and thank the heavens for life.

Happy Valentines Day to all of my blog friends. Especially my E-Valentine Brown Shuga. ~wink~


I’ve heard so many promises, so many lines so many lies. But I’ve never heard ANYTHING like this before.

I don’t know what to think.

“Ms. Tee, I don’t want to be just another man who thinks you’re good enough to f**k but not good enough to love. “



I have to release this or I’ll explode. I don’t want to pick and choose what I share, trying to create an image for you guys. I’m not an image. I am me. And I am good at being me. Or bad at it. Depends on how you look at it.

I woke up this morning feeling crazy. My heart was literally in my draws. Feeling kinda bad. Wondering WTF is going on with me.

I remembered a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago. My Mama was telling me that my lil brother’s girlfriend had called her crying over something he did.

“Hmm,” I said aloud. Though more to myself than to anyone in the room. “I don’t think I’ve ever called any man’s Mother to complain about him.”

“Well why would you?” My stepfather interjected. “What man wants you to meet his mother?”

“Ha, ha ha…You’re not gonna hurt my feelings today.” I told him.

“Who’s trying to hurt your feelings? I’m just telling the truth. I see you waltsing your ass out of here with men. Whose mother have you met? Have any one of them ever loved you? No man is gonna love you Ms. Tee because you’re evil. You’re disgusting. You’ll never be nothing more than an after midnight booty call. The other woman. The hoe on the side. No one is EVER gonna want you. Am I lieing? Who loves you? Anybody? I didn’t think so. You run every man away. You’d even run a dead man away.”

I sat in silence. So used to these conversations. So used to him telling me that I am unloveable.

When the barrage begins, I usually try to think of a positive. I remind myself that I am fun. I have lots of friends. I am honest, generous, have good p***y, and uplifting to those around me. SOMEONE is gonna love me. Or are they?

I try to convince myself that I don’t want love anyway. That maybe God sent me my two sons to show me love and that’s all I’ll get. I fantasize about being successful in my career with my two sons. We’re living in a big house, I get to buy them nice cars and they just adore their Mama.

And then I sigh…And I think about almost all the men in my life. Even the ones I meet now. The ones I DON’T like, won’t leave me alone. The ones I DO like, ALWAYS leave me alone. And it’s not like they do it sweetly, they are very harsh with it.

I’m trying to swallow this lump in my throat as I write this because to some, I got it going on. I have OVERCOME. I have did my thang. I am a SURVIVOR. Haha…~sigh~

I am. I’m just still healing from all of these men in my life who constantly remind me by their words and their actions that I’m not loveable.

But DAMMIT, I know I am! I also know I’m a handful. A person can’t be THIS dysfunctional in relationships when all she does is care a lot. Sometimes I want to call up the men who reject me and ask them why. If I don’t fight with you. If I don’t play games with you. If I don’t reject you, then why, WHY do you push me away like that? What the hell is wrong with you? Or better yet, what the hell is wrong with me?

It’s pretty harsh, the things my stepfather and my children’s father say to me.
I remember my children’s father told me, “You’ll never do better than me. No one else is gonna want you.”

Mirror images they are.

Same spirit.

Sent to crush and destroy.

My joy.

So I’ll never enjoy…

Real love

If it ever finds its way

This way

But the truth of the matter is, so far

They are absolutely right.



I got my health and dental benefit forms today.


Can a sister say Hallelujah!

Can a sister say BRACES, BRACES, BRACES!

I’ve ALWAYS wanted braces. I think I’m gonna be so cute with them. But I need so much other dental work that I couldn’t possibly afford to get that work done and then pay for my braces too.

I’m beginning to look forward to getting older. Come on, imagine it. I already look good now. I have two sons. I’m about to get my teeth straightened which is the LAST thing about my looks that I am self concious about. Bucky Beaver no more!

In 5 years I’ll be 30 years old, well into whatever career I’m supposed to be into, established, making bread. My sons will be turning 8 and 10. They’ll be big boys. And I’ll be looking damn good!

Then in 10 years, my sons will be teenagers, I’ll be 35 and looking like WHOA! My sons will be out of my house before I turn 40. And I’ll have the rest of my life to kick it like a bachelorette.

I still can’t believe how things worked out with this job. I am so much more busy than I was when I was a temp but damn it’s not hard work at all. And to think this school actually PAID for me to stay here. You know any company has to pay the temp agency if they want to hire the employee permanently. This school spend a few grand on me!

How u like that?!

The really interesting aspect of my job are the parents. Our Parent Association is made up of really wealthy women who plan events, parties and meetings. They come in early in the morning and meet in the PA room, sipping their coffee and wearing their jogging pants and designer bags and sunglasses.

You can’t really tell they have money by the way they look. But I know who they are. I know who their husbands are and the mere fact that they VOLUNTEER their time (plus the FAT rocks on their left hands) lets you know they have bread.

I’m fascinated by rich people. I have no idea what life is like for them. I hunger to know though. Because I plan to be one of them. Really I have no doubt about that. How I’ll get there, now thats where I’m a little, uh, disturbed. But really, I’ve always known that I’ll be wealthy. I’m talking about housekeepers, nice rides, nice home. I don’t need a mansion, I just want to be extremely comfortable and work because I WANT to work, not because I HAVE to.

Sometimes I figure a man into the equation. Sometimes I don’t. I guess I understand how Oprah feels now. I mean, she has Steadman, but she doesn’t. She’s single, but she has companionship. She doesn’t know what she’s missing because she doesn’t have any kids. You can’t miss what you don’t know about.

Wanna know what I DO know about and miss? SEX…

But I won’t bore you with the details.

All I got to say is, “Lord please prepare the man you want me to be with, cuz he’s gonna need a strong back. A Sista overdue!”

Later Chile…


I wanted to share this story because it was a lesson in how hindsight affects the total experience.
The Friday before Valentines Day my girl Melissa and I planned to go out. Seeing as how I had just quit my night job, I was free to do just that. To celebrate my newfound freedom we decided to go down to South Beach for dinner and drinks.

It was cold that night, a grueling 50 degrees, so I had to bundle up by wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and matching jean jacket, my favorite long sleeved, multicolored Express shirt with the tail peeking out beneath the jacket and some pointy toed, high heeled boots. I thought I was casually cute.

I called Melissa to see what she was wearing. “Girl, I have on some jeans, a leather jacket and a scarf, it’s cold out.”

She came to pick me up and we rode the expressway all the way to Alton Road. The whole ride I’m cracking up as Melissa explains her latest philosophy.

I looked over at her wild afro and corn rows and said, “Girl, you know we livin it up in Miami. Soon, we’re gonna look back on these days and think, Damn we had so much fun. But life is gonna get serious in a minute. All kinds of serious.”

“Look girl. I understand that. That’s why right now I’m all about doing exactly what I want to do and NOT doing anything I don’t want to do.”

Damn. What a way to look at things. Kinda immature, but when you think about it, she has no kids, no bills and a wealth of talent. Right now is the time for her to chase her dreams. She is a singer and an actress. Right now is the time to live life to the fullest before she has obligations.

“Damn I love Miami. It’s so pretty,” she says as we both stare in awe at the scenery.

Both of us grew up here. But having strict parents as children eventually paid off, because now as adults, we’re experiencing the Miami night life for the first time. Each trip to South Beach is an adventure. The experience is never the same. A few weeks ago we made the trip down to SoBe (South Beach) specifically for a Karaoke night and spent the entire time singing in a bar. And YES, I sang. One of my songs was, ‘I wanna dance with somebody’ by Whitney Houston. I even sang, “Baa Baa Black Sheep’. Me, a microphone and a drunk audience- ahh, It was definately a memorable night.

So as we’re driving around trying to find parking, my phone rings and it’s a guy friend, Stu.

“Where are you guys?” he asks. I told him that we would be down there and he said he would be on the Beach too.
“We’re on Alton Road trying to park, where are you?”
“I’m at the Delano, having drinks. Where are you trying to hang tonight?”
“We’re trying to get something to eat and then go for drinks. We’re in between 10th and 12th. We’ll call you when we find a spot.”

Thank God we came early, because South Beach is a place that you kinda give up on if you try to go too late. There is absolutely NO PARKING after a certain time. But it was early round 9:30 so we found a spot. “See,” Melissa said. “I told you we had a chance in hell of finding a spot.”

While she fished around in her purse for coins to feed the meter, I stepped out to check to see if there was any time left on it. I squinted my eyes at a sticker someone had left there. It was a price tag that said: $999.99. I thought that was funny.

Just as I was about to tell Melissa she’s gonna need a lot more change than she thought I caught sight of a cab pulling up abruptly right next to Melissa’s car. A conservative black guy popped out and asked, “Do you need change for that?”

I quickly looked away. Nicca I don’t know u.

He walked closer to me and I tilted my head to the side. Ohhh.. that’s Stu. LOL!

“Boy, don’t be rolling up on us like that.”

“Why not? See, that’s why I don’t get Black women today. You don’t even wanna give a brotha the time of day. I was just being nice.”

Melissa gets out of the car and I introduce her to Stu. We all walk across the street while Stu rants about how he’s through with Miami women. Melissa thinks Stu is the type to date white women, but he says that’s not true. He’s 31. Black professional. Homewowner. Single. No Kids. Attractive in a boy next door type of way.

“So what are you gonna do?” he asks us.
“Well,” I say. “Melissa wants to eat so we’re gonna eat and then go for drinks.”
“Where you gonna eat?” he asks.
“I don’t know, we’re just walking.”
“But where will ya’ll be?” Damn, he asks a lot of questions.
“Look, we’re just walking and looking at people and we have no plan. We’re just having fun.”
“Well, I’m gonna go back to The Delano for more drinks and you guys can let me know what you’re gonna do later.”
“Oh no you’re not. You’re hanging with us and you’re not going anywhere! So calm down and let’s walk.”

We end up at the Clevelander’s Sports Bar for some chicken wings and juice. We chat it up and watch as Laila Ali fights some woman who looks like a man.

Afterwards it’s still early so Stu suggests we stop by this club he wants to go to. When we get there the lady at the door says the party doesn’t start until 11:30 until then there are only letting in people with dinner reservations.

So we head on through the crowd down Ocean Drive. Even though it’s cold out, it’s still packed. We walk through several outside restaurants and people enjoying the chilly night air.

“Let’s go to Fat Tuesdays,” Melissa tells me.
“Ok, I’ve never been,” I say. She rolls her eye and looks at me incredulously.
“Don’t forget,” I whisper. “I am still new to the party scene.”

We roll up into Fat Tuesday and I head straight for the bar.

This one chick is standing there and she’s eying me and smiling. I smile right back boldly.

I order my shot of tequila and we make our way to the dance floor.

There are all kinds of people up in Fat Tuesdays. A lot of white people, a lot of Hispanics and a lot of people on dates. I’m not really in the mood yet so I kinda stand back and watch everyone and try to avoid extended eye contact with the men. I’m not in the mood for that tonight.

I’m watching this one Black couple on the wall. They were both extremely attractive. He was tall, light skinned and well built. She had a coke bottle figure and long weave. It seemed as if they were oblivious to everyone else. Damn, that’s love.

There is a group of white ladies there bouncing to the Hip Hop beat. I’m telling you, if you want to have some fun, sit back and watch white people dance! Especially to some Hip Hop. Oh my gosh! I thought I would die! ROFL! And then they all had the nerve to know the words to all the songs, talking bout, “I know some soldiers in here, where they at, where they at?”

I’m still just standing there like an idiot laughing at them when Stu taps me on the shoulder and points to his watch.

“Let’s go to Bed.” he whispers.

I sigh.

I wait for Melissa to finish dancing with this gay guy she met and we all walk out.

Now Stu is taking us to this club called Bed. I heard it was the spot for Black Professionals. I first learned of it through an attorney I met last summer when I worked at the Miami Times. I wondered what kind of crowd it would be but just shrugged and said I’ll go.

I looked down at my jeans and cringed. Here I go again, about to go up in a club and I’m not dressed like I usually would be. “You’re fine,” Stu tells me.

We get to the door and the same woman is there. I waltz up to her and I see her look at my clothes and whisper, “Jeans” to the guy she’s with.

Then she looks at me and then looks at Stu and Melissa who are standing behind me and asks, “Are you all together?”
“Yeah,” I respond. “We’re together.”

We walk in.

The moment I walk in I feel like I’m in another world.

This club is called Bed because there are loft styled beds that line the walls half way around the club. Each bed is plush with white sheets and over sized white pillows. The people are dressed like, damn, I can’t describe it. It looked like something out of a movie. You know those movies where they are having a cocktail party and everyone is sipping champagne and acting all siddity? That’s it!

People are lieing down on beds eating their overpriced meals and chatting.

I’m like, Hold up. Is this a CLUB?!

Hell naw.

I bet if they played Drop It Like It’s Hot, not a damn person in here would do it.

Stu can see the loook on my face. I don’t like the pretentious crowd.

He dissappears and returns to me with a smile. “Drink this.” he says. “It’s a classic margarita. Tequila with a bit of Cuantro and a squeeze or two of lime.”

Uh yeah, it’s good. Thanks.

I sip slowly, eyeing the brothers in the room. It’s a mixed crowd. Mixed evenly with Blacks and Whites. There are three beds in the center of the room. One with huge bed, raised higher than the others with giant wooden bedposts in the center and two lower beds on opposite sides.

I hear you have to pay for a bed in this place. And if you don’t have a bed, there is absolutely nowhere else for you to sit.

These are some stuck up, no fun having people. I frown at everyone. Child please I need to get out of here. Ain’t nobody krunk.

I see Melissa and Stu looking at me. “Hurry up and drink, Tee!” they encourage me. I know I am a bit too analytical in my right mind, but damn, I’m sure you don’t have to get me tipsy to have fun with me.

But I finish my drink and I have Stu as my guide. He’s encouraging me to watch as the crowd changes. “Look,” he says. “It’s after midnight now and watch as all the white people go home. Then the vibe will be a little different as more younger people start to show up.”

I am tipsy as hell and I am experiencing sensory overload.

I am inhaling every scent. I am devouring every sight.

I can’t lie to you, EVERY single woman up in that place was FINE! And I’m not talking about big booty FINE. I’m talking about if at any moment Jay-Z wanted to film a video in there, he could have. There was not ONE unattractive person, male or female. Not an overweight person, not a person with a bad weave!

EVERY, and when I say every, I mean EVERY woman was dressed to the hilt. I’m talking about AKA beautiful. I’m talking about Beyonce beautiful. I’m talking about CUTIE PIES!

And the men were no different. They could have taught a fashion class up in that piece. Men were so precise and not even afraid to share their bottles of champagne or buy drinks. “I think these men are prettier than me!” I thought to myself.

I danced the night away enjoying my euphoria. The lights and the music only added to my natural high and I was in heaven. I met a man named Blaine. He was white with blue eyes. After dancing with me he whispered, “Now I know you’ll always remember that a white boy named Blaine rocked your world.”

Yeah, I sure will.

We left and I rushed home to get some sleep.

The next day I called Anna to hear about her night out and tell her about mine. When I told her about going to Bed, she gushed.

“Damn Tee. That place is exclusive. You got in there? That’s the kind of place that handpick people out of the line. I would be kind of nervous about trying to get in there.”



They handpick people out of the line?

My mind races back to when I got there and the woman looking at my clothes before I entered. Her asking me if Stu and Melissa were with me. When I left I remembered seeing a long line, though the place wasn’t packed. I’m trying to remember faces. Yep, the less than status quo were standing outside in the cold, shifting from foot to foot, hoping to get in.

Damn… If I had known that place was like that I would have never gone there. I honestly don’t like exclusivity based on looks. We can’t help what we look like. We didn’t choose to have certain features.

Damn. But I got in.

Ya’ll may not believe me but I have never thought I was all that until recently. No one really paid me that much attention because I hang with beautiful women. When I do get attention, I chalk it up to my STAR personality and energy.

Deep inside I really don’t think there’s any woman out there that’s tighter than me. I mean, she may dress better than I do or have more money, but I’m still great in my own little weird way. But I think it’s good to have a self perception like that.

I just never really recognized until recently, that I just may be the status quo in some people’s eyes.

Makes me feel funny. Both happy and sad at the same time.

Would as many people still love me if I was the same Ms. Tee, only what the world deems “ugly”?

$10 baby!

I’m wearing my $10 dress today.

It’s a simple, sleeveless, short black dress that I bought from Walmart two years ago.

People always say I look nice in this dress. They ask me, “Whats the occasion? You look extra cute today.”

The occasion?

The occasion is the fact that I woke up late and didn’t feel like ironing (or thinking too hard about what I’m wearing) and this dress doesn’t wrinkle. So I slip on a pair of funky earrings, a matching bracelet, some wedge heels and WHAM! a cute outfit in less than 5 minutes.

I love being a WOMAN!

Busy Bloggers!

Now with my new job at work, I haven’t had ANY time to read blogs during the day. Plus the fact that they are installing surf controls and they ~gasp~ disabled chat capabilities has me wanting to QUIT!


Just playin’ ya’ll.

My job is cool. Finally, after being a temp for so long, sitting at other people’s desks, trying not to rearrange things or disrupt their flow, I have my own personal space. YAY!

So, I’m into decorating it. Adding pictures, putting up some GATOR paraphanelia and all that jazz. It’s not a cubicle like at my old night job so I’m even happier. I’m happy about the money too! LOL!

Tonight I finally had a chance to catch up on my favorite blogs and some wild things have been happening all over the blogosphere.

So, for your reading enjoyment, here are some blogs you MUST VISIT TODAY! Lots of action…

Mac’s Vibes– Can you say a brotha was almost scammed by a pretty face!

Tru Love– My homegirl’s writing is amazing. And she shares her heart and her past in a way that will grab you and force you to pay close attention.

Yolanda went to NEW YORK CITY! Her story is interesting and she has some great pics of other bloggers that I need to get acquainted with.

The Monkey Cage– I think he’s adorable and also hilarious. He puts the L in LOL! Read his archives, you’ll thank me for it.

Steve, the mildy unwell bastard– He’s a self proclaimed Certified Sex Whacko. If you haven’t seen this blog before you HAVE to read it from the very beginning. Like a well written soap opera, it’ll keep you hanging on.

Ultra Mag– Damn! She finally posted! Welcome back, it’s been a while…

Juli– She got a man that she thinks she’s gonna love forever! I feel like I’m all happy in love just reading about her and her man.

Mommie2B– The rebirth of Virtual Therapy. If you’ve been around for a while you may remember her. This time she’s back and she’s PREGNANT! I am gonna love reading about her experiences.

Brutha Code– He says he’s going on a hiatus from the blogosphere. I can’t believe it. I’m sure people will protest. But he went out in style. Check him out.

Also, my family and I have been dealing with a death in our family. My aunt died last week and we were finally able to collect enough money to have a funeral. As usual, I’m playing my role. I did the obituary and am going to speak at the funeral.

I shudder at this particular role, but I guess my gifts of writing and speaking has more than one use.

Being faced with mortality reminds me that I am one blessed woman.

You’re blessed too. Be a blessing.

Rollin With The Homies

I have two homies that really crack me up. They’re so much fun, so entertaining and they make me look good when we go out on the town.

One is 2 years old and the other is 4. They’re my sons.

It’s great having boys! When the weekend comes, I plan activities for us and we all get dressed up. I’m looking cute and they’re looking so handsome with their fresh white sneakers and shorts sets. We all put on our sunglasses (spiderman and the hulk glasses for them) and we step out and go to the mall or out to lunch or wherever and I become one of those Mama’s that I used to see out with their kids.

It still amazes me that I’m a Mom and they are my two little men.

Last week I was in the nail shop getting my feet done and I had to play the Mama role and give them my evil eye so they’ll behave. It was so funny! I’d be a great actress.

I get to say all the stuff my Mama used to say to me:

Don’t make me come in there!
Ya’ll betta sit ya’ll behinds down!
Do I look like I’m playin with you?!
Betta carry your behind to bed, NOW!
No, you CAN NOT have anything else to drink.

I squint my eyes, roll my neck and stand with my hands on my hips- snap my finger and point at what I want them to do. “PICK UP THE CLOTHES, NOW!” I have authority! LOL!

Then I go round the corner and laugh. he, he…

And Mamas get special treatment too. Don’t think it’s just the single ladies who get the free stuff. When I go out, someone always holds the door open for me. Extra toys for the boys. I even get offers for free food. Once a man said to me after looking me up and down, “Hell I’d work three jobs to take care of you and both them boys. Just gimme a chance!”

I laughed and smiled at him as I pushed my boys in the shopping cart.

Motherhood, by any means, is a beautiful thing.

I pray you all get to be as blessed as I am.