Wondering How To Stay

I’m trying to decide what I want to do next…

Today I got some disappointing news and it caused me to re evaluate myself. I hadn’t heard from a friend of mine in a while so I called her up to check up on her and she rushed off the phone after telling me she deleted me as a friend on facebook.
I texted her and asked how i offended her and she wrote back: You are too sad and negative and I decided not to interact with you.
That was a first in a long time. I know that’s why people were drawn to this blog way back when it first started because I seemed to have such a tragic life and I described it so well! LOL
Now…emotionally…things have leveled themselves off for me and I can step back even more and notice how my own negative thinking is affecting a situation and then decide if I want to change my thinking…
But I must admit that my vibe is STRONG and affects the whole situation around me….so I understand where she’s coming from…
Anyway…I’m not feeling well. I work so much physical labor and my body is tired. Just tired… I don’t think I should be doing all this physical work. What do I want to be doing?
I would love to get paid to do things I do all the time for fun.
I would love for it to be a work at home position.
I would love for the pay to be enough to take care of all of my immediate needs and then lots of fun on a regular basis.
I would love to feel the magic intermingling of now and the future.

Still just trying to figure out what I’m gonna do next with myself.. Kinda anxious about starting something new but wondering if I’ll even like it…
I’m so good at starting over…but I don’t know how to stay…

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