Who Do You Love? Are You Sure?

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I received an interesting call from a guy friend tonight. He said he had good news.

I love hearing good news so I got all excited and settled down to enjoy my special hot dogs topped with chopped onions and melted cheese while he shared his story.

He told me that he spoke to his one true love recently. He shared how he explained to her where he was now in his life and some of his goals for the future. Then he dropped a bomb I’m sure she wasn’t expecting.

“Tracy,” he said. “My first priority is getting myself together and finally becoming a man. My second priority… is you.”

“I know that you are with someone but let me explain. Every single relationship that I have been in ever since we broke up has been a feeble attempt to replace you. It hasn’t worked. I wake up everyday thinking about how much I love you and how happy I was when we were together. I want to be a better man for you. You can’t tell me that you are happier now than you were when we were together. I won’t believe it.”

Tracy responded hesitantly, “Well I don’t know what to say. I have goals for myself as well. I’m pursuing my career in acting and I’ll be moving to LA very soon.”

“That’s fine,” he assured her. “But how do you feel about what I’ve said to you? How do you feel now that you know that I don’t want anyone else in my life but you?”


“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” she responded meekly.

His heart lept.

When he got off of the phone with her he couldn’t stop smiling. He was so elated he even wrote a poem about her. There’s no better feeling in the world than loving somebody, when that somebody loves you back.

He decided that even if it took 3-4 years, he would become a man she could respect and then, he would go after her to rekindle a relationship that had ended more than 10 years ago. He assired me that she was not saying yes to RIGHT NOW. But that she was saying yes to the FUTURE.

Sounds like a love story huh?

The catch; he is already in a relationship right now. He is living with a woman who has basically taken care of him for so many years while he struggled to find himself.

“Man,” I told him. “It’s messed up how you’re doing Kandy. I mean, she has shown her love for you in every sense of the word by taking up the slack and filling in the gaps and you are gonna leave her because you are in love with someone else. At the end of the day it’s gonna hurt her, but it’ll be for the best because she needs to be with someone who will love her like you love Tracy and you can’t offer her that. Just don’t lead her on. Don’t use her until you get yourself together. I would hate to be sleeping next to a man who was dreaming of someone else.”

“It would be unfair of me NOT to go after Tracy,” he said. “She is who I want and I can’t just sit there with Kandy knowing I don’t love her like that because I feel indebted to her because of all she’s done for me. I have to go after my happiness. I owe it to myself. I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering, WHAT IF?”

So his plan is to work on becoming a better man. I applaud that. But he’s also being a bit selfish, which I told him he had a right to be since it’s HIS life. Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish. But I hope he understands that his selfishness comes at a price.

He’s leaving behind a beautiful woman, stability and dedicated love for a fantasy he has held in his mind since he was a kid.

Would I choose a chance to chase my fantasy love or stick with a stale version of happiness with someone who has always shown me unconditional love?

Man, I really don’t know. But it’ll be interesting to see what happens with him in his love triangle.

I’ll let you know.

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