Everyone is dissappointed in me. How could you leave grad school? They shake their head or mumble facetious well wishes as they hope I’ll just “get a job”.
But I can’t just GET A JOB. I’m not one of those worker people. That has never worked for me in the past so I have to try to become an entrepreneur. I have to at least try because I don’t know what else to do.
Walking away from that and then starting my own website to try to sustain myself is more work than a full time job. Way more work. It’s having to be creative, study more, engage people more. I study more than I did when I was in school. I watch other people as they implement their business models and I imitate them. I see them in action and I am hopeful.
I have to be. I am in a corner. I have to fight my way out in order to stay alive. Behind the scenes I have no one to talk to about all this, really. They just see me sitting at home, they don’t know the hours I put in writing and creating and building. They only value hours put in working for someone else’s dream. I can’t do that anymore.
Nightly, my prayer is “Please let me better tomorrow than I was today.”
And I fight with that barometer because I don’t know what “better” is.
My sister makes me laugh when she says, “She quit school, just like all the other millionaires did.”
That’s true. Every risk taker I know, didn’t complete their education, they just WENT FOR IT.
I hope that magic is sprinkled on me.