Ahh…
Now I have some time to release all of my emotions.
Care to ride with me on this journey?
Ok. My house is set up like this. There’s a hallway with one Spanish couple in one room and one Spanish girl in the other room. Then there’s a living room and kitchen in the middle and on the other side there’s my room. My room has a door that leads outside so I never have to go inside the main part of the house if I don’t want to. But I like to because it smells good in there.
I have so many things on my to-do list like:
Get new tires for my front wheels.
Take this fucking laptop back to the damn store to get another one. Don’t buy the Gateway M-Series. Just because it’s cute doesn’t mean this shit works properly. I haven’t even had this for 8 months and the A is already scratched off on my keypad and the spacebar is already scratched off and my ENTER button is broken. That’s some fuck shit.
I smoked a cigarette with my classmate the other day and now my chest is tight as hell. It hasn’t felt like this in a long time and I need to go to the emergency room but I have no insurance so fuck it. No more cigarettes for me.
Gather the rest of my paperwork for this scholarship I’ve applied for. The last day is the 15th. I’ve already written the essay now I gotta get my transcripts together and a letter from financial aid.
Package and mail my manuscript to this publisher.
Find a co host for my show. It’s very dry with just me on it I think. Last night I was giving out advice and I realize my advice is different from the advice a person who is trying to be socially acceptable would give. I need one of those people who thinks inside the box and goes by the Bible or by what their Mama told them about being a good person. Someone who sticks to society’s rules and says things like, “Good girls make guys wait.” Shit like that. I need the contrast. It would be nice if this person was attractive because as soon as I get a good format for this show I’m switching to my school’s television station, they don’t seem to be producing any original content these days.
I need to be touched. My *connect* said he’d do it but in my head I keep hearing, “Hell naw..that sorry ass sack you gave me the other week, fuck you!” But seriously, my body is physically aching, like I’m tender to the touch. Sometimes I sit and wonder what the hell is wrong with me where everyone I know is COMPLAINING because they have too many options for men and sex and I have absolutely none. When I think about it, I try to change the subject in my mind quickly.
I’m about to go see Tamara today. My boys and I are going to play on the slip n slide in her mom’s backyard. She’s here for the Miami carnival and she brought her boyfriend. I’m not too keen on seeing him because I don’t really like him. That’s weird cuz he treats her well it’s just, I don’t see him as someone I would enjoy being around. Which doesn’t really matter since he’s not my man, he’s hers. Oh well, I can deal with it. I’ll take a book with me so I can read while our kids play.
I’m gonna go see if my boys will give me a massage. I really, really appreciate them. They come to every radio show and help me with everything. They learn quickly. Anyway, lemme see if I can convince them to rub me down.