Tamara Transitioning

My life is a miracle.

I remember at the beginning of this year when I first moved to Dallas and I was staying at the hostel there. I remember having this nagging feeling that I just couldn’t understand. One night while I was on the phone with Tamara I realized that I had to let it out and I did.

“Prince,” I said. Her nickname is Prince. “I know that you are planning your wedding and everything but I just have this bad feeling about it.”

“Why Tee?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I just feel like…I don’t know.”

“Tee. I’m happy. He treats me like a queen.”

“I know Prince. I just…I don’t know what this is. I don’t feel right about it. Prince. Don’t you think you deserve…more?”

That night I couldn’t explain what ‘more’ was because I didn’t know myself. Sure her fiance treated her well, put up with her insecurities and loved her and her daughter but..in my heart, something was missing. Knowing her all of these years and understanding the type of person she is, I just felt that even with all of the good treatment..I felt like she deserved more than he was giving her.

But I got over it. I let it go. I decided to support her and just pray for God’s best.

Soon she called me to tell me that they decided to postpone the wedding and go to counseling to help them with their issues. She never really explained what the issues were except to say that she was fearful about marrying him.

Then she called to say that they decided that she should move out and they should start over with their relationship. Even though she now had a baby from him, they agreed that it was the best thing.

Before she moved out, all kind of drama insued that she never told me about. I was only hearing bits and pieces because she now admits she was trying to save face.

There was another woman in her fiance’s life. She was devastated.

One week before she moved out, she decided to go out with her friends in sort of a revenge mode and she bumped into this man and they exchanged contact information.

She talked to him a little bit and then some more. And through the tears, the moving out, the heartache, the depression, he was still there.

I remember asking her, “This man listens while you’re crying over your ex on the phone?”

“Yeah. And he says the right things to let me know it’s going to be okay. Tee this is crazy.”

She wasn’t about to rush into anything with this man but after a while she started to notice that he was just like her. She once said to me, “I wonder if there are any men out there who think like me. Who are lame like me?”

I told her, “There has to be. If God made you so ridiculously lame then it’s likely He made a man just like that.”

To help lighten her mood I would try to flip our conversations from the sadness she was feeling by asking her about her new friend. She would always lighten up when she talked about him and those joyful vibrations would float on over to me.

One night she called me and said, “Tee, I think Ricky thinks like me. I can’t believe this but I think I actually believe him when he says things to me.”

Now this is a BIG deal because Tamara don’t trust no man! All the while she was with her ex she would call me with these wild “hunches” about him not being faithful to her. Turns out she had been right all along and now she says that she shouldn’t have ignored her gut feeling.

Fast forward to the present..and I’m amazed to say that the man she met in the midst of all of that turmoil is still a very consistent presence in her life.

Even as she goes through the healing process from her last relationship, he is determined to be a part of that.

One night she called me and said, “Tee, am I wrong because I miss [my ex]?”

“Naw. Cuz I miss him too.”

She laughed.

“I do,” I laughed along with her. “We always had fun when we were with him. We had a great time when I lived in Atlanta, we had so many good memories in that house and he was always so nice to me.”

“It’s okay to miss him, Prince,” I continued. “But know that if he was meant for you then ya’ll would still be together.”

After hearing so much about Wonder Boy Tamara wanted me to talk to him on the phone so she called me on the late night with him on the line.

I questioned the hell out of his ass!

I’m kind of ruthless when it comes to the men my friends date so every last one of them has to prepare their men for their first conversation with me. LOL! It’s not like I try to be like that, it’s that I care a lot and I ask specific questions to see where their heads at.

By the end of the conversation with Pretty Ricky I felt good. The vibes I sensed were pure and it seemed to me that he was delighted to even know Tamara. It was almost as though he felt lucky to be her friend. It was almost an admiration of sorts. Kind of like, “Wow. I can’t believe she likes me.”

Funny thing is, she says she feels the same way about him. He lives in North Carolina but that doesn’t stop him from driving down to see her every other weekend. When he’s not in Atlanta, she goes to meet him. It’s like they can’t get enough of each other. And noo it’s not about a booty call…their relationship didn’t become intimate until very recently.

The AMAZING thing about him is the fact that he is amazingly georgeous. I’m so confident that you will agree that I’m gonna let you see their picture together.

Whenever I hear how happy my friend is now and how amazed she is that this man is in her life my vibrations start buzzing and my joy level goes crazy!

Today she sent me an email that read:

Well speaking of [Pretty Ricky] I am so happy with him he is so wonderful and I cant wait to see him again. I actually miss him. He makes me laugh and he lets me be me. And he knows all the right things to say. He lets me be a baby and whine and get mad and is then quickly able to change my mood to be more positive. Tee why has the lord blessed me like this?

I remembered that I had prayed to God for him to take me out of that relationship with [my ex], to save me. And last night I was reminded of that. I was reminded that I tried to make everything seem so great and they really weren’t I was unhappy.

But the feeling I have now and the piece of mind that I have now, is just overwhelming and I dont know what to do with it. So I just smile and praise God and let him guide me. And guess what everything is just as should be.

Tamara

It’s disturbing to me that when I tell this story most people say, “Hmm..I wonder how long this will last.” Or “He seems perfect…now.”

It’s as though people are programmed to expect the worst. But I don’t care. My friend is soooo happy. And when I hear how happy she is and I speak to him and hear how excited he is about her, I don’t give a damn about his past or her past or any of the idiots who didn’t recognize her worth.

What matters to me is that my friend has made a friend who was willing to go through all that drama with her, stand by her, be that light AND appreciates her for who she is. It’s like…he cherishes her.

He cherishes her.

Remember that “more” that I was talking about earlier. THIS is what I meant.

He cherishes her.

It’s like…he thinks she is the greatest thing walking. And it shows in every word he says. And it shows in his actions. And he is trying to move to Atlanta to be with her. And he cares about her and BOTH of her children.

And she feels the same way about him.

I’m not saying this man is a saviour and I have no idea what will happen between them but just like I have to remind Tamara, “What he is, is a gift from God to you right now. He has been nothing but a blessing, a friend and exactly what you needed during this transition in your life. Don’t be afraid to take a risk for love. Love is a risk, but it’s a risk you can’t afford NOT to take.”

Plus, he’s a true upgrade.

But shhh…don’t tell anyone I told you because they’re still trying to pretend like they are just “friends”.