Subconcious Issues

Wow. Since I’m a future Relationship Therapist on a daily basis I get so many calls, IM’s and emails from people who need advice. Still don’t understand how I can easily help someone with their relationship when I haven’t been in a romantic relationship in almost 7 years. Wait…I do know how I do it. I just give them the same advice I would give them if they were talking about their friend. If you think of your boy or girlfriend as a friend, a whole lot of drama and unnecessary expectations would be cut out.

Anyway…I haven’t had an issue of my own to sort out in a while but here goes…

When my sons told me that my BBDD’s bitch was pregnant my immediate reaction was surprise, followed by elation, then sadness, then jealousy then elation again. In no way do I ever want to be with him again (No more attorney’s for me. I promise). I really didn’t think about it too much after that because I feel like he is with the EXACT type of woman he deserves to be with. They match perfectly. He and I were a good match at the time but I’ve grown and we’re too different to be together now.

Sooo…I thought it didn’t affect me but then again…

I’ve been having these crazy ass dreams since I found out about their pregnancy. In each one of these dreams I am whooping her ass. I mean WWF type of ass whoopings. I enjoy each punch, kick and body slam too. I wake up feeling confused because I don’t hate her-I just don’t like her. I have nothing against her or him for the record even though I have a valid reason to hate them both.

In my concious mind I’m okay with them but I guess subconciously I still have issues. I don’t like that. I don’t like to be in bondage, even in my dreams.