Stepping Away From A Purpose Driven Life

I was having a great conversation with a man I met online. We never talk on the phone or anything but when I see him come on I’m always so excited because we exchange ideas and challenge each other on philosopy and that intrigues me.

Tonight we discussed living a life of purpose and he said that he was was searching for a meaning and purpose in his life. At that moment I realized that I have stepped away from my purpose driven life.

In the past I had this vision for myself. I saw myself as a successful speaker, writer and teacher and I was hell bent on making it happen as quickly as possible. Even when I achieved substantial steps toward my goal, I was never satisfied knowing that I wasn’t EXACTLY where I wanted to be.

“This means nothing!” I would tell myself. “I’m still not THERE yet!”

Oh how things have changed.

THERE seems to be a nice pleasant daydream now. I still believe that one day I will be THERE, but now I’m not so hard on myself and I’m learning to enjoy the day by day. When I get THERE I don’t want to have a memory filled with crushing strides, I want to savor each moment of the process so that I will appreciate being THERE even more.

I guess I figure that even if for some absurd reason I never get THERE, I’ll at least have enjoyed my existence instead of rushing and condemning myself for not reaching my goal.

I’m cool where I am and as long as my sons are well taken care of and I’m eating everyday and writing my little heart out, like Mary J. says, “My life’s JUST FINE…”

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