Rosh Hashana! Rosh Hashana!

I pulled away from my son’s daycare this morning with a huge grin on my face.Today is a Holiday called Rosh Hashana which means schools are CLOSED! YAY! Double yay because my younger son’s daycare doesn’t close but my 5 year old son’s public school does- so I just put both of my kids in the daycare and began my drive back to my side of town to enjoy a DAY TO MYSELF!

UH! Get it MAMA! Shake that thang! Pop that thang!

I know, I know. I’m bad.

So I’m driving up 17th avenue and I’m fantasizing about my future. I love to imagine myself as a successful person. I do it ALL THE TIME. My friends and I love to talk about how one day we’re gonna send private jets for our girls vacations and shopping sprees and how we’re going to fight over who gets to pay for it all.

My fantasies are so vivid that I forget that I am am in the car. I am picturing myself moving my family to New York, becoming a professional hustler and somehow making a name for myself as a writer, TV personality and all around communicator. I imagine sipping champagne with Kanye while he’s trying to persuade me to read one of my poems on his next album. I laugh. “Oh Kanye. I’ll have to see. I mean, I’m very busy that time of the year.”

But Kanye is patient. And he knows what a wonder I’ll be so he sits back and smiles. Then he bites his lip and looks me in my eyes. I giggle. he he… “Don’t look at me like that Kanye.~grins~ STOP!” I whine.

I roll my eyes. This man can get ANYTHING he wants.

Just as Kanye reaches over to caress my wrist I hear a noise that jars me from my dream man’s attention.

Whoo-WHOO! Whoo-WHOO!

Aww shit! The po-po’s.

I signal and get over into the left lane and at the first corner I see I pull over. I’m still on a high from my fantasy so for some reason I’m not afraid or nervous. My first thought was, “Oh shit! Nah, I’m straight I ain’t got no trees on me.”

I wait for the stocky Hispanic officer to tap on my window before I roll it down.

“Hi.” I say and smile.
“Do you know how fast you were going?” he asks, leaning into my car.
“Yes, I was going about 40.”
“I don’t think so. I had to get up to 55 to catch up with you.”
“Oh really?” I ask. “I can’t imagine that because I always follow the rules. I never speed. I’m a good girl.” I say and tilt my head to the side, widening my eyes so he can get a good look at them. I bite my lip and smile.

He glances at my smooth, bare legs. I’m wearing booty shorts and a baby tee with some flip flops. I see him smile a little, then he catches himself and asks for my liscense. I pull it out and hand it to him.

“Is your liscense clean?”
“Squeaky clean. Like I said, I’m a good girl.” I smile and shrug my shoulders.
“Ok then wait right here while I go run this.”

Before he gets to his car two more cruisers pull up. I laugh to myself. They betta not TRY me! He tells them that he has it under control and they drive away without even looking at me.

He sits in his car. I’m singing to myself along with the radio. I hear a siren go off and I look in my mirror and he’s waving at me, motioning for me to get out of the car and come to him.

He wants me to get out of my car? huh?

I step out and see him smile.

Ohhhh… Dude is flirting with me! LOL!

I sashay over to his cruiser and stand all bow legged trying to be sexy with my teeny shorts. LOL! No seriously, I want you to understand that my legs are FIIIRREEE! I rarely wear skirts or shorts in public because I don’t like people staring. I never work out because I’m too lazy, but I must have inherited my Mama’s legs because men say I am built like a racehorse. Well I was. I don’t know what they’d say now since I’ve put on a few pounds. Like I said, I rarely show off my legs. They’re like my secret weapon.

But I’m posing in front of the officer like I’m on a photo shoot. He laughs and says, “Well, I guess you didn’t notice how fast you were going. Just watch it next time Miss.”

“Ok,” I tell him and walk away.

Funny- one of my worst fears is being pulled over by the po-po’s. My 2nd time being pulled over and the officer is even nicer than the first. Who knew?

So I stop by BK for a sausage and cheese crossaint and I’m home in no time. When I walk through my front door I jump into the air like a little kid and SQUEAL! YAY! Home alone! Home alone!

I immediately call Anna to see what’s she’s up to since she’s a teacher and she has the day off too. Oh yeah, she and i aren’t fighting anymore. We made up. As usual.

“What’s up?” she answers.
“Girl! I’m living the HIGH LIFE! No kids!”
“Where are your kids?”
“At the daycare. All it costs is $10 a day. Now you can’t beat that! It would cost me more to feed them all day than it would for them to stay there and let me get some time to myself.”
“You right about that. I wish I had thought of that. My baby is right here getting on my nerves.”
“But GIRL!!!!” I squeal. “I called you for a reason. You will not BELIEVE what Tamara (AKA Prince) told me last night!”
“Girl what happened?”
“Girrrlllll! How about Tamara calls me and tells me that she was being BOLD this weekend.”

Anna laughs because Tamara’s definition of bold may be a little different from ours. Anna and I are way more “experimental” than Tamara ever was. She’s kinda, um, different. ~waving~ Hey, Prince!

“So she tells me that she went out this weekend with some chicks and they met these guys right? So our friend TAMARA says she walks up to one of them and says, ‘So, what’s up with you?’ and the guy says, ‘I’m cool.’ And she says, ‘How old are you?’ and he says, ’28’ and she’s says nonchalantly, ‘Alright you’re straight you can buy me a drink!'”

“Hell NAW!” Anna screams.
“I know dawg! I mean, DAMN! Who is this chick talkin to men like that? That is SOO not like her! But get this, after the drink. She takes his phone and dials her number, letting it ring a few times. Then she says to him, ‘See that number?’ He nods, yes. She says ‘Use it.’ and she walks away! That hoe walked away!” LMAO!

BOLD. B-O-L-D!

Anna is cracking up laughing. Understand me puh-lease. Tamara is NOT like that. She NEVER approaches men. She usually just stands back and allows them to come to her. Of all my friends I think she gets the most attention when we go out. And the crazy thing is she doesn’t even know it. When I brought up the fact that men act like they want to faint when she walks by she said, “But don’t they act like that with ALL women? That’s just how men are!”

No honey. No they don’t. But she doesn’t get it. And you know, I’m kinda glad that she doesn’t. Her head is big enough already. LOL!

So I chit chat with Anna a little more and then lie down for a nice nap. Before I do I call Reggie to remind him to come over to take a look at my computer because I think I have a virus, which turns out to have come from my tagboard which will be missing from my site for a while. My phone rings and it’s Anna, I almost decide to ignore it but I don’t.

“What you doing?” she asks me.
“I’m sleepin.”
“Well wake up, I’m coming over.”
“Ok.”

Next thing I know I hear my room door open and she’s standing there smiling. We sit. We chat. We laugh. She gets the Lil Kim CD out of her car and we ride out! The parts that I heard were very good. I’m proud of Lil Kim. I’m mad at Anna because she doesn’t have Kanye’s CD yet because I want to hear it so badly. Ruby even called me the other day asking me if I’d heard a song on his CD called ‘hey mama’. She thinks I would love it.

What I would LOVE to do is go to his concert on the 11th. Yes, Kanye West will be right here in Miami performing at the University of Miami on October 11th and I have not won tickets on the radio yet! How sad. I try everyday. I never even get through.

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be right now. I’m sure I’ll meet him later. I don’t wanna hunch. I don’t wanna holla and I don’t wanna be his baby mama. But I sure would like to soak up some of his energy and give him props for being the creative, driven and sexy man that he is.