Picture This

After I managed to withstand the cold of my car so that I could speak to JB I ran into the house and took a nice long shower to warm up.

Tonight I wouldn’t be blogging or chatting or anything like that. Tonight I have a proposal to write. I had heard from the restaurant manager’s assistant. She called and said, “Mr. Manager is interested in hearing about what role you believe you can fill with our company. Please email him the details and we will get back with you soon.”

Awww shit!

First of all! Don’t ask me to be creative!

I live for that shit!

Let me calm down….

What role can I play in this company (restaurant) that no one is playing now?

Hmm…

Yeah I got it.

For the next hour I sat cross legged in front of my computer with a smile as my fingers flew back and forth across the keyboard. I decided that for this proposal I would change things up a bit. The last ones I wrote were strictly business-like. But this one would begin with an anecdote, then paint a picture, then some hard facts about why I’m the perfect person for the job.

When I was done I was so proud of my work that I jumped up and did the DOO DOO BROWN!

~snapping fingers~

Get it Mama! Work it trick!

Shake that thang! Pop that thang!

One leg up!

One leg up!

One leg up!

Jump around!

Jump around!

How else should I have celebrated a well written piece?

I’m still a professional…dang.

I clicked SEND and smiled in satisfaction. I hope he likes it. It’s a role that would definitely help his business and it’s something I would be PERFECT for. Kinda like…one of my dream jobs. Oh well…all you can do is plant the seed and hope for it to grow.

The next morning I woke up in a great mood. I called up the publisher who was somewhat interested in publishing my story and we had a great conversation. “Well, I already like you,” she said. “Let me take a look at your skills and some of your clips and why not meet this afternoon around 3:30pm? Are you just interested in a column? What about a full time position? You said you have administrative experience and you enjoy it, right?”

Full-time? Wow. I’m not sure if she can afford me full-time. The last black newspaper I worked for tried to pay me 21-23 and that was unnacceptable for my skill level. We’ll see.

“GREAT!” I told her. “I’ll be there!”

I just had one more thing to do before the meeting.

I had found an ad for an open casting call. I had never been to one so I decided to give it a try but I didn’t have any headshots or any recent photos.

“Professor!” I called out cautiously. “Could you take some pictures of me today with your digital camera?”

“Sure…” he replied from behind his laptop. “Let me know when you are ready.”

I pulled on a cute red sweater and some dangling earrings and the Professor and I had our photo shoot inside his house.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Lots of fun!

Within minutes they were all over myspace and facebook!

I ran back downstairs to get ready for my interview. I chose a nice outfit with warm colors to compliment my red hair. By the time I hopped inside my car it was 20 minutes to 3 which gave me plenty of time to get lost and find the place which according to yahoo maps, wasn’t too far from where I was.

But something weird happend.

When I turned the key, the engine wouldn’t start.

I tried again.

Nothing.

Again.

Nothing.

Aww man…

I ran inside to see if the Professor could help. “It’s probably your battery because you choose to sit out there with the radio running for hours,” he assessed before he even saw the problem. I knew he was referring to the fact that I sit in my car to use the phone every night. He had made a sarcastic comment about it before but I didn’t care. What else am I supposed to do?

If I can’t use my cell phone in the house because the townhome is made of aluminum or steel and he monitors my phone time I HAVE to go outside. He can think what he wants.

So he came out and decided that he would probably have to jump my car for me. “But I have other commitments right now,” he told me. “You will have to wait until later or maybe tomorrow.”

As he walked away I felt sad. There was NO ONE else I knew in this city. I didn’t have any guy friends or anyone to come by and make sure I was okay.

Man…What am I doing here?

I call up the publisher and tell her what happened.

“Hi, I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to our meeting this afternoon. My car is acting up.”

“Oh well if you can fix the problem I’ll gladly wait until 5pm.”

“Well,” I said quietly. “I’m not sure if I’ll have it fixed by then.”

“Is it serious?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied. “But I’ll try to get it fixed as soon as possible. Could we reschedule for next week?”

“How about this? You work on getting your car back running and call me in the morning. If your car still isn’t running, I’ll swing by and pick you up.”

WOW!

“Are you sure?” I asked, amazed.

“Yes! No problem. Just call me in the morning. I’ll be in by 10am.”

I felt a little better after I hung up but I still didn’t know what to do about my car. Wow. I know no one here to come by and make sure I’m okay. No friends. No nothing. Except the professor, who is for some reason being very…um…abrasive with me at times.

He’s kinda argumentative too. It’s as if he has some sort of chip on his shoulder. Damn. He reminds me of the way I am with men.

One night I was sitting with him and asking him about his life and I asked, “Oh wow. Show me the books you’ve written. If you’re a retired PHd surely you’ve written some books. I know for a fact tht people get PHd’s to contribute to academia!” I was so excited to see what books he had written about criminals and stuff!

He looked at me sideways. “I didn’t write a book. I wrote my dissertation.”

“Huh? You didn’t write a book afterwards? You know..Your theories on the subject or whatever. I thought that’s what all PHd’s did.”

“NO!” he said harshly. “I don’t like to write and I don’t write.”

“Dang! Why you actin like that?” I asked looking into his eyes to see what the problem was.

He shifted in his seat and adjusted his laptop.

“Well..you’re impugning my integrity with your line of questioning and I don’t have to listen to it.”

“Huh? What does impugning mean?”

He gave me a sideways glance and rolled his eyes. “You don’t know what that means?”

“Nope,” I replied innocently and smiled. I love to learn! “Enlighten me Professor.”

He rolled his eyes again. “I’m not going to tell you. Look it up.”

“Why don’t you just tell me, you’re the Professor?”

“You’ll learn it better if you look it up!”

“Dang…Okay then..It’s 9:00 anyway, I’m going outside.”

He is testy…

After the Professor leaves I am sitting in my room all sad and lonely. Sometimes I just allow my emotions to take control and sometimes I liek to sit and sulk like the world is over when I don’t get my way.

By 7:30 I decide to go outside to call my kids but when I get out there I just sit in my car and place my head on the steering wheel. “I don’t know why I am here. I have no friends. No one to help. No one to laugh with. No job. Why am I doing this?”

Why did I think this would work?