I’m about to begin a new challenge. It’s a new documentary, a whole new set of faces, a whole new approach.
It starts today. I wonder what’s going to happen.
As I sat here wondering what’s about to happen I couldn’t help but think about my last project and all the bullshit I went through for nothing. I swear I thought life was like, about doing good in the world and helping as many people as you can. but for the sacrifice I made, to try to help only to realize that my personality isn’t a good match for the shit I was trying to do and I can’t help anyone and I’m not cut out for the superhero shit. I won’t ever try no shit like that again. I was stupid.
I got hurt in the process. Very hurt.
I don’t mind that I failed, I’m used to that shit, I just, wish someone more capable had done it. Someone with people skills and organizing skills. Someone with more- whatever it is- that I was missing where no one who had the ability to help- was willing to help me. I fucked that project up because MY name was on it. Had it been anyone else, it would have been more successful and more women would have gotten the help they need.
Damn.
But you know what?
Sometimes its fun to fail.
Sometimes I feel like, shit, let’s see how much more GIGANTIC risks I can take and just how much more I can fuck up.
I mean, who can say they fucked up as much as me? Who would TRY risky shit as much as me? Who could fail at such awesome shit like me?
No one.
You know what? I’m going to go hard- push it to the limit, even with this project and shit, we’ll see how much I can fuck this up too.
Let’s see. For this project- it’s about Saying YES to life and opportunities, challenges and new ideas.
I’m gonna go ahead and face some of my biggest fears while I’m at it.
Let me see how much I can fuck this up too.
Cheerio!