Party Over Here!

Wow, now that I’ve moved to my new url I actually FEEL like I’ve moved somewhere new. Like I just got a brand new apartment but with all the same furniture. Isn’t that weird?

I went to 3 parties this weekend and had a very, um, emotionally charged time. You know I had to share.

Party #1

I’ve been working this customer service job at night that was very laid back until I actually started WORKING. I mean, customer service is not as easy as you think. People are calling you and writing emails asking for your help with their problems concerning the service you provide. So, you have to know EVERYTHING about the company and its services.

Training lasted for about a month and I was loving it until I actually took my first call. Then I realized that I wasn’t as knowledgeable as I thought I was and that bothered me. Usually, when I take a job it’s a job that I have plenty of experience in and am comfortable with. Having never worked a job like this I felt challenged because the computer programs, the language and the service was all new to me. I’m so used to shining at work that I became disheartened that at this job, I was barely keeping up.

But I promised myself that I would keep trying until I got better and all it really takes is a little practice. The real story behind this customer service job is my interaction with my co-workers.For a little history, I got this job through my friend Dianna who has worked there for over a year. I always liked to tease Dianna because from the pictures and stories she told me her job was like the girl’s job on Baby Boy, you know, his first baby mama. Where she sat in this cubicle on the phone and had static with her co-workers over men and random mess.

Funny how after teasing her about the job, I was now working there. But Dianna works the day shift so my experience would be a bit different from hers. The interesting thing about this job is the different personalities that ecompass the call center. In my past work experience, I had never worked with young people and certainly not young Black people. You know what comes with working around young people? DRAMA!

Dianna warned me that it would be difficult not to get caught up in all the he say, she say, but I was not hearing her because I had never been a part of a gossip circle and even in highschool, never had any enemies.

So after I finished my one on one training it was now time to be thrown into the masses and see what everyone was like. I was often paired with different reps so that I could train with them. There are so many amazing characters there. Each with their own little story to tell and you know I’m the one who is going to ask plenty of questions. Everyone seemed nice, except for a few women. I had to remind myself that damn, everyone is not as friendly as I am and not everyone is as open as I am. Even though Miami is in the south, you can not consider Miami to be Southern, because the typical southern friendliness is nowhere to be found here.

Last Thursday night was my night job’s office party. I was a bit nervous about going because I don’t know anyone in the office like that and they are all very cozy with each other. But my girl Dianna told me to go and have fun. So I meet everyone at this restaurant on Biscayne and when I walk in, no one really notices or they act like they don’t. LOL! I told you I don’t have any friends there. LOL!

I say Hi to our boss and walk over to the bar. It’s an open bar for all of us. I order an Apple Martini and sit down. I hear my name being called. I look across the bar. It’s Dianna! YAY!

I walk over to her and try to give her a hug. I spill my drink all over her. Oy! Sorry chick. You’re wearing black, it won’t show.

We go to the bathroom and clean up and I’m feeling like the biggest dork. I already don’t want to be there and now this mess! She assures me that I’ll have fun if I stay and I let her talk me into it. I tell her to go back to her other friends and to check me later.

I find a seat at the corner of the bar and sit down like a duck. QUACK! I order another drink and sip slowly, looking at everyone and feeling out of place. By this time people are getting pretty tipsy and some stop by to say Hi to me.

I order another Apple Martini and then a shot of vodka. Dianna comes over and I can tell everyone is feeling right. All of a sudden everyone is best friends with everyone else and we’re all hugging and singing and laughing.

We sit down to dinner and it’s amazing how much bolder I get when I drink. I’m talking to everybody and asking questions.

This one girl walks over and I hear her talking to someone else about being a lesbian. This girl is really cute. I’m so surprised. I ask her if she’s serious.

She points to her girlfriend. “We’ve been togther for two years and I’m very happy.”

“So, you just, don’t want a man at all?” I ask her.

“Nope,” she says and smiles.

All of a sudden I am little embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…curious.” I say to her.

She gives me a look, smiles and walks away.

Wait. Did I just tell a lesbian that I’m curious? LOL! Oh my gosh!

I wait until I feel like I can drive and then I leave, taking one of my cute co-workers with me. We’ll call him Donald. Now Donald and I had been sorta flirting off and on for a minute but it wasn’t that deep. I thought he was very cool. I liked talking to him.

When I get back to his place he invites me in and I go, reluctantly.

When we step in his roommate comes out of his room and I’m thinking, “He looks familiar.”

It turns out his roommate works with us too. As usual, me with my whole over analyzation, is thinking, “So, I’m here late at night with this guy at his place and his roommate who works with us is here too. What if he tells everyone I’m sleeping with this guy? What if I’m labeled the office hoe?”

I don’t have any experience dating/chilling with someone that I work with but I’ve heard the horror stories and I don’t want none.

I leave quickly and head on home.

Party #2

So it’s Saturday night and my cousins have invited me to a WAITING TO EXHALE night. Supposed to be some drinks, food and fun. I take a couple of fruit platters and get cozy on the floor as we listen to Fantasia’s CD.

This is my first time listening to the CD and I kinda like it. Then this song comes on about Baby Mama’s and before I know it, I’m crying. Damn, that hit home.

After some food and some laughs we all get deep and the topic of the night is, yeah, you guessed it- MEN. Now my cousins and their bestfriends are sharing about why and how they cheated on their men and what keeps the men coming back.

At the end of the night, I’m fine to drive home so I do and get some much needed rest.

Party #3

My friend Andy calls me to invite me to his breakfast party and I decide that I will go. His party starts at 10 am on Sunday morning and I’m a little nervous about driving to Broward County by myself but I make the trip in less than 15 minutes thanks to some good directions.

When I get there he and his friend are cleaning and I pitch in by vaccuuming the floor. Andy is making sausages, grits, bacon, eggs, biscuits and serving cocktails early in the morning. By 10:30 the house is packed and we’re all grubbing and listening to old school jamz. It’s a 25 and over crowd.

All of a sudden I hear Endless Love and my emotions are flipping. I’m having flashbacks of my children’s father and I find myself wondering what I did that was so wrong for him to leave me. I feel guilty about feeling this way because he treats me like crap but I did really love him. I did whatever I could to make him happy. I was very open emotionally and sexually. I don’t think there is anymore I could have done. Again, my sensitive self takes over and I’m crying. LOL! I’m so emotional.

I go into the bathroom to calm down and instead I just let it all flow. I cry harder than I’ve allowed myself to cry in a long time and it feels good. I’ve always been afraid to cry over him. Crying over some man who doesn’t treat you well is just plain dumb. So, I guess I’m dumb then. I didn’t realize that I was still hurting this much. Still feeling rejected. Still feeling like I wasn’t good enough for him.

And then I cried over the could-have-been relationships that I have enountered since my second son was born. Nothing ever materialized and I always chalked it up to the fact that something was wrong with me. “I’m just too much.” I’d tell myself. “If I could just hold it in. Be a little less like myself sometimes. Be a little less emotional, a little less sexual, a little less eager to please, then maybe someone would accept me and not walk away.”

I dream of the day when someone will look at me and say, “This girl is crazy…But I can’t get enough of her.”

I clean myself up as best as I can and I re enter the party. Everyone is writing on tiny blue slips of paper and we’re about to play a questions game. Andy places everyone’s questions into a clear pitcher and one by one we all take a turn reading a question and everyone gets a chance to answer it. The questions ranged from spiritual to music, to sexual to important life decisions. This was clearly a great crowd of people.

The question I asked was: What is your heart’s desire for 2005?

My answer: Financial Stability