My Fantasy Trip To DC

I was inspired today.

I was reminded that I should always imagine “the best that could happen” instead of keeping my goals a secret because I fear embarrassment of not realizing them.

Yes, I am in the process of submitting a published commentary for the Pulitzer Prize and yes…I submitted an essay for the Inaugural essay competition where they will choose 10 winners to be flown to DC for the inauguration.

So…to excercise my faith in my ability to do well in both competitions, I decided to write a story about how I would like things to go down this weekend and leading up to the inauguration. Maybe sending out positive energy and living the excitement of my dreams come true before they actually do will push my dreams into fruition. Let’s see….

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I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t sleep. I knew that the winners for the essay competition would be announced on Friday, the 16th and I expected to receive an email from the staff.

The light on my laptop never went off the entire night because everytime I saw that the light dimmed, I touched my keyboard just to be sure I didn’t miss it.

After my boys woke up and we had breakfast, we all sat outside enjoying the sun. I wouldn’t allow five minutes to go by without dashing inside to stare at my email.

As soon as we finished lunch and sat down to watch TV, I hear the chime of my Gtalk alerting me to a new message.

When I click on it I read:

The Presidential Inauguration Committee would like to congralulate you on your essay. You and a companion will be attending the inauguration as honored guests of the President of the United States. Please call this number to confirm your prize.

Yay!

I immediately call my sister. She doesn’t answer. Fuck!

I text her: CALL ME NOW!

She calls back within minutes. “What? Did you win?”

“Hell yeah!” I scream.

“Shut up, stop playin! For real?”

“Teenie I am not joking! I WON! We’re going to DC!”

“Ahhhhh! Oh my God. I love my sister! Did you call Mama?”

“Not yet.”

“Call her and lemme call Adam and tell him. My Boss GOT to give me the time off for this!”

My boys and I do a happy dance and hug and scream after I tell them the good news!

“But you believed you were going to win, Mama. You had to win!”

“I know Boo Boo but I’m still excited!”

I couldn’t help but float through the rest of the day. By the time it was near the hour to do my radio show, I could barely contain myself.

“Guess what ya’ll?! I bellowed into the microphone at the studio “I’m going to DC to see the inauguration! I feel like it’s my birthday! And just because I’m in a celebratory mood, I’m gonna play something to get ya pumped….How about some old school Luke… It’s Yo Birthdayyyyy!”

The next morning I drive up to Boca to see my sister. She already had her clothes all over her room, trying to figure out what she was wearing.

By some miracle, I had received a huge check so I was able to do a little shopping with her as we (and my boys) flew from store to store trying to find new dresses and underwear. Couldn’t be caught mingling with Obama in draws with holes in’em.

By Saturday night I was KRUNK as I went into Denny’s! I served the people so well that I walked away on Sunday morning with $200 in my pocket. A RECORD for a Saturday night.

I got some rest and then when I woke up I smiled at all of the congralulatory facebook messages from my friends and sat down to twist my hair.

By Monday morning I was cool, calm and collected. I mean, I am a superstar right. Can’t go to DC for my first trip acting like I never been nowhere. My sister met me at my house and her boyfriend dropped us to the airport. He is so cute! He made a mixtape for our ride to the airport filled with nothing but Obama songs. LOL!

OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

We were both wearing our Obama t-shirts when we arrived at the airport. Everyone else was wearing theirs too. We grabbed our bags at baggage claim and before we could take a step a white man in a black suit approached us.

“Are you Ms. Tee?”

I looked at him sideways.

“Maybe,” I replied and raised my eyebrow. Who the fuck is you?

“Sorry Ma’am. Don’t mean to alarm you. I’m with the inauguration commitee. We’ve been expecting you.”

All of a sudden, trumpets sound off and a man with a megaphone bellows, “HERE YE, HERE YE! Ms. Tee is here! Please make way for the greatest writer of all time! Bow down because she is in town!”

Everyone stops and bows. I blow them a kiss and two sexy Black men in biker shorts hoist me onto their shoulders and carry me outside.

“Oh damn dawg” my sister hisses”Look at that!”

The secret service is standing outside of a…ROLLS ROYCE! And the Rolls has 26 inch rims on it- and they WICKED! ANd they SPINNING! WITH PINK DIAMONDS!!! And the driver is standing there holding a bouquet of flowers, sunflowers- my favorite! How did they know? They must have googled me!

When my sister and I step into the Rolls, we Scream! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

And we ride and we ride and we’re freezing because we aren’t used to the cold weather like that. We have the driver stop by Walgreens so we can buy some chapstick and some heavy lotion so we won’t be ashy with all the wind.

Our eyes grow wide when we get to the hotel.. OH MY GOSH! It’s the Waldorf Astoria! ANd Prince Akeem is standing at the door!

They carry us inside and upstairs to our room. I blow them a kiss as we tour our suite. It’s the Presidential suite and it has a secret room where they keep the cigars and the cigars are even better than Black and Milds and I smoke one and my sister asks me to put it out cuz she hates when I smoke.

And all of a sudden the doorbell rings and it’s room service and they ask if we’re hungry and I say YES and they pull out a cart with all kind of food on it and I take some steak and some lobster and some shrimps and some mashed potatoes and two pies and some egg rolls and buffalo wings with blue cheese. HELL YEAH!

Clink!

We click our glasses of grape soda together to celebrate our first day in the Chocolate city.

I call all 2 of my DC friends and invite them to the Waldorf to party with me. We’re dancing on the tables when we hear the phone.

It’s Michelle Obama. “Hey Ms. Tee. Why aren’t you at the party?”

“Girl, I forgot. Sorry. Can I bring some friends?”

“Of course. The car is waiting out front. Get movin!”

My friends and I get dressed in our flyest dresses and heels and we saunter out to the waiting car. This time it isn’t a Rolls, it’s just a traditional limo but I almost fall out when I sit down and look to my left.

PUFF DADDY!

“What’s up Puff?” I ask and give him dap.

“What’s up, Tee? Man..that essay was tight. I might be able to use you on a couple of songs.”

“True dat. You can talk to my peoples. I’m going on tour with my presentation but I’m sure I can find some time to squeeze you in.”

On the way to the party we make one stop. I’m confused but when I try to get out, the door won’t open. A voice interrupts me by saying, “Ms. Tee. Someone wants to meet you.”

The door swings open and it’s Maya Angelou.

“Maya Angelou!” Wow. She sits down beside me and gives Puff some dap.

“Ms. Tee. I must say. I am impressed by your thought process. You really released some of the same thoughts I had been thinking but could not quite find the words to say. Thank you. The country thanks you. We will co write a book together in the future.”

“True.” I say and pass her a glass of champagne.

So we get to the party and it’s a whole bunch of people in tuxedoes and ball gowns just standing around looking important. I get bored easily and sit down in the corner. There is a dance floor and they’re playing classical music and a couple of people are dancing.

Man…

“I think I’m gonna call somebody to help liven this party up,” I tell my sister.

“WHo you gonna call?”

“GHOSTBUSTERS!” I say and laugh!

20 minutes later I get a text and I walk to the door to greet my friend.

1o minutes later I hear this familiar voice over the mic- “DJ KHALED!!!!!!! WE THE BEST NIGGA! WHO? WE NIGGA! WEEEEE!!!”

And we start shaking it down. I see Oprah grab Steadman but he actin like he don’t know what to do. Oprah doesn’t care though, she gets on the dance floor and does the doo doo brown like she was born and raised in Dade.

I don’t feel like staying long because I really wanna go back and relax. I like being at home. I grab my sister and leave all the stuffies rocking to Khaled’s mix. We head back to hotel and I take a shower and then sit in my room…

~sigh~

TWITTER BABY!

I’m telling the story of what happened…tweet by tweet and all of my followers are like, “TAKE PICTURES!”

So i take out my camera and take pictures of the suite and me and my sister sipping champagne.

Tuesday morning we both wake up early. A soft knock is heard at the door and once again..it’s room service. Two Spanish dudes and they’re singing to us, “You can have whatever you like…You can have whatever you like…Stacks on deck. Patron on ice..You can pop bottles all night..and You can have whatever you like….”

I tip them for the performance and they pass me their demo tape. I promise to pass it to Puffy and they give me dap.

We head out to the parade and watch the festivities. You can FEEL the magic in the air. I’m sitting in the heated section overlooking the crowd and I see Jennifer Hudson walk by. Then I see Spike Lee walk by too.

I’m sleepy so I ask to go home and take a nap.

TWITTER! TWITTER! TWITTER!

And then I’m out for a few hours.

My sister is mad at me for leaving her but she gets over it.

We head out to the inauguration and the place looks like the Zillion Man March. Black people are everywhere. WHite people too. Chinese people too.

We find out seats on the front row and my knees are shaking as the crowd swells behind us.

I’m texting Tamara and chatting with my sister when I hear a voice beside me.

“Is this seat taken?”

I look up and…and..I don’t remember what happened next cuz when I wake up I’m in an ambulance.

“What happened?” I ask my sister who is looking pissed off.

“You stupid!”

“What happened?”

“Girl! You stupid! Kanye West was RIGHT THERE! About to sit next to you and you looked at him and fainted!”

“shut up! You lieing!”

“No I’m not dummy! We missing the whole thing! Tell them to turn around and take us back! They taking you to the hospital!”

I sit up weakly. “I’m okay. I’m okay. I don’t wanna miss it.”

“Ma’am. We just want to be sure. Let’s run a few tests.”

“No!”

“Ma’am. We have to. It’s policy.”

“Umm….I don’t have insurance.”

SCREEECH!

The ambulance comes to a stop and they push us out and slam the door.

“You stupid!” my sister says again.

“What did Kanye do when I slipped?”

“You didn’t SLIP! You passed out like a groupie!” she laughed.

“For real? Was it really Kanye?”

“Yeah girl,” she said as we sat on the curb. “He was fine too.”

“FUCK!”

“What we gonna do now?”

“Well, lemme text Michelle and have her send a car.”

10 minutes later we’re back en route to the inauguration. Our seats are still available but Kanye is nowhere in sight.

“Were you lieing? Was it really Kanye?”

“Tee..You’re a groupie.”

Ahhh..The lights dim as the stage lights produce a laser light show. The audience is chanting OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

A troupe of tribal dancers enter the stage carrying drums and beating them in sync. The audience begins to echo their steady rythm with their hands as one by one a group of children dressed in all the colors of the rainbow. They are holding hands and singing WE ARE THE WORLD, WE ARE THE CHILDREN….

And then Whitney Houston comes out with Bobby and they say a prayer.

And then TD Jakes comes out and says another prayer.

Then Ludacris performs.

Then Dave Chappelle comes out and does a poem called “Hell naw…My President iS Black.”

Then Savion Glover enters the stage dressed like Michael Jackson and tap dances all over the place, into the crowd and right up to me. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and passes me his card before tap-tapping his way back to the stage where there’s a dance line waiting to do fan kicks with him.

Then Oprah comes out. She smiles and waves and throws her handkerchief into the crowd.

She doesn’t speak.

Then it’s time..The lights dim and some man comes on and says something….by this time the whole crowd is stomping their feet like at the circus.

The first family enters the stage. Everybody cheers. Obama steps to the front, takes off his jacket and walks to the front and hands it to me.

All the ladies sigh…

And then…we hold our breath as he takes his oath of office.

Ladies and gentlemen. I now present to you, the 44th President of the United States, President Barack Obama…

It’s pandemonium in the place. You can hear gun shots outside and fireworks as television screen broadcast the landmark event.

I’m tired so I suggest we head home but my sister gets mad at me. Alright. What u wanna do?

“Lemme go find out where the haps at?” she says and I stay seated as the crowd leaves.

She’s gone for like 30 minutes and I text her to find out what happened.

“Girl, I’m right here. Hollup. Be right there,” she texts back.

I sigh and lean back in my chair, exhausted from the day’s events.

“You okay?” a familiar voice asks.

I look up and…it’s..him.

I can’t say anything. I just smile.

“You alright?”

“My president is Black,” I manage to squeak out.

“Yeah..Mine too,” he says. “What you about to do?”

“Waiting for my sister.”

“Ya;ll could ride with us. We just going to grab something to eat and then chill out. I can’t believe tonight actually happened.”

“OK. She said she’ll be here in a minute,” I say. “I’m…I’m Ms. Tee.”

He laughs. “I know who you are. I’ve been reading your blog since you were in Dallas. You interviewed my Mom. She told me about you then. You’re funny.”

“You lieing?”

“No, I’m not,” he said. “I think you’re going to make a great therapist and…don’t take this the wrong way but I’m glad things didn’t work out with you and all of those other guys. You are obviously a woman who knows what she deserves. And you’re gonna have that.”

“Fo sho!” i say and laugh.

“Fo sho..” he says and sits down next to me. “You got some more pics of your kids in your phone? What are their names?”

By the time I get back to Miami, Maya Angelou, Puffy, Terri McMillan, Mos Def, Lil Wayne’s Mama and the executives at MTV and CNN are blowing me up!

I pick up my boys and bring them back to my place.

As we settle into my futon my phone chimes and I smile as I see a text message from HIM…

“Goodnight boys…tomorrow is going to be a great day!”

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