My life is a miracle.
Last week I was going through a bit of ‘purging’ as my minds eye put it. My heart was hurting as I recognized one of the biggest challenges that I face in business and business -related social situations is the fact that I hate to comform to rules.
I hate that shit.
It’s not that I’m a rule breaker, I follow the speed limit and I don’t rob or kill anyone but…when it comes to social practices I am so different from what I am seeing in others.
But there are rules out there and even more recently there seems to be a game being played by those who are successful in society and business. I can feel it when I’m out at networking events. I can feel it when I’m watching business people interact.
Whatever it is that they have…I don’t have it. I have no knowledge of the rules of engagement and furthermore, I’m not sure if I really want to know.
I have never been taught these rules because I have never been close enough to the successful people to be able to learn them. But in my heart, I’m afraid that the qualities that these people have, are not anywhere in my realm of being.
There seems to be a dance of sorts when I’m listening to their conversations. It’s as though each party knows they are being fake but they have to do it anyway so they do it.
Is there integrity involved in any of this? If I look at some of the business leaders that I have encountered, I’m not so sure.
I want to be a good person. I don’t want to have to gossip or pretend I’m someone’s friend just to get ahead. But is this what I must do to achieve my dreams?
Last week I was out having pizza with this chick I met recently and afterwards we strolled through the shops of South Beach while we chatted.
What this chick said blew my mind.
I shared with her some of the challenges I faced in the workplace which had nothing to do with my work ethic or talent.
“You can’t be anti-social at work,” she advised sternly. “You HAVE to at least act interested by saying ‘How was your weekend?’ or something like that. Just LISTEN when people talk, you don’t have to say anything and always be nice and friendly to everyone. Everyone will always tell you their business, you will have that in your pocket and no matter what, you will be called on first because you were never one to say anything bad about anyone even the people that everyone hates.”
“Look,” she continued. “You can be YOU when you have Jay-Z type of money. With Jay-Z type of money you can do and be whatever you want to because then people won’t say anything about you because they want to make money with you. Until then you just have to…make them like you.”
“Take it from me,” she said and looked up at the sky. “I’ve learned this from years of experience in the business world.”
“But I just want to go to work and WORK. I just want to go there and do what I was paid to do,” I countered.
“But it’s not like that. People only want to do business with people that they like. Make them like you.”
Make them like me?
Do I really have to date you for you to speak favorably of me?
One leader once told me, “You have to kiss ass now, to kick ass later.”
If all of this is true then I’ve been going about this whole thing the wrong way. I never try to make people like me. I just work hard and try to encourage those who are in my immediate space through praising them to success. I keep to myself and try to exceed my own expectations for my work.
I’m in conflict. The Game Of Life, one of my favorite books, teaches that whatever you give to the world, you will receive back multiplied. So I give. I try to be encouraging. I sow seeds. But that’s not what I’m noticing as I meet successful people. It’s like they have tactics for success and there’s a club, everyone knows each other and it’s hard to get in if you don’t know the rules.
Can I still be my most authentic self and achieve the life I always dreamt of?
Right now my vibrations are extremely low, and by vibrations I mean, my joy level. I know why. It’s because I’m focusing on the problem instead of focusing on the joy that having the resolution will bring.
Somehow, someway I will figure this out.
I have hoped for a mentor for so long. I have reached out to so many successful people in hopes that they will recognize my potential and help guide me to my imminent success but nothing has happened so far. All anyone says is, “Good luck with your dreams.”
What does the Bible say? “Seek and you will find.”
Seek and I will find.
Ok. I’m seeking.
Waiting. Listening. Being faithful.
How do I become a woman of success and still maintain my integrity? How do I learn to operate in an environment that seems so foreign and uncomfortable to me?
The answer must be on its way…
Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I need to change my perception, after all reality is solely connected to your perception of the world.
I will be sure to let you know what I find.