Learning Things

Dell finally called me back tonight.

I texted him earlier today asking if he was busy tonight and if he’d like for me to bring over dinner after work. He called me back saying that he would have to see when he was getting off and that he would call me.

So I came home and undressed, relaxed and ate some cereal when I saw his name on my caller ID.

“Hey..” I said.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m just chillin…Watching TV. How are you?”

“I’m good man. I just got home.”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

“No, I haven’t,” he began and then he sighed. “Babe…I know where you’re going with this and I’m just not ready. I’m feeling you. I really am…but…I just..I’m not there.”

I flinch but I keep my composure and say, “Hey. I understand. We’re friends right?”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“Well, the way I treat you, is the way I treat my friends. I’m just nice like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…That’s just me.”

“Well..I hear that.”

Uncomfortable silence.

“Um,” I say. “Do you still wanna hang out?”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Ok, that’s cool. So I guess you should relax from your long day. I’m relaxing too.”

“Yeah. Rest your nerves and let me go.”

“Ok. Have a good night.”

I flipped my phone close and lean back against the couch.

I’m okay. I mean, I’ve only known him for a few weeks. He seemed to have a lot of the qualities that I would love in a man; he was extremely driven, attractive, creative- He’s cool. it’s crazy that I don’t feel rejected. I just feel like…like..maybe he just wasn’t ready.

And that’s okay.

I meet men all the time. A couple have even come by my job just to talk to me. You know what? I appreciate Dell for raising the bar. He showed me that all men do not want to sleep with me and screw me over. He taught me that there ARE men out there who are hardworking and successful and can be attracted to me. He was very nice to me and I’ll always appreciate him for that.

Let me go relax my nerves, call Tamara and tell her what happened.