Learning From The Contrast

My life is a miracle.

I just dropped my boys off to their Dad’s house. They were both asleep in the backseat by the time we got there. That was a very beautiful sight.

I was so excited to take my boys to their first drive-in movie. They wanted to see Enchanted and I was a bit surprised because I heard it was a love story. They really enjoyed it because it was a combination of cartoon and reality. I loved the movie too because of the intermingling of fantasy and reality and the irony of the ending.

The Princess was at home at the beginning of the movie, fantasizing about her dream mate, her true love. She even made a mannequin of what he’d look like and she truly believed that he was out there and looking for her. One day she was chased out of her home by an ugly ogre and she climbed a tree and when she fell, she fell into this man’s arms.

She looked at him. He looked at her. And they fell in love. LOL! I almost died laughing!

“We’ll get married in the morning,” he said to her and off she went to make her wedding dress.

Everything happened just the way she imagined it.

I’ll admit, I kind of think of love in the same way. I fantasize about meeting a man and..we’ll just KNOW. But the sharp contrast of reality always rears its ugly heads as I am faced with the men who are actually in my life.

Because I’m on this new manifesting my dream reality kick, I look at the men in my life differently though. Instead of getting pissed off that the man I’m sitting next to isn’t exactly what I want, I now recognize where this man falls short and then I get excited about meeting someone else who doesn’t fall short in that area.

No negative experience binds me to a place of sadness because I now understand that every undesireable experience gives birth to a precise moment of defining what I DO want, and once I can pinpoint what I do want, it becomes easier to recognize when I get it. AND…I can become joyful right now as I think about having exactly what I do want.

Everyone wants the good life, but most have no idea of what it is that they want exactly. If we take the time to look around and take stock of what it is that we don’t want or have in a particular mate, a particular job or a particular situation, we can then start to imagine and feel good about receiving the opposite.

For example last night I went out with one of my guyfriends to a movie. I told him to wait for me while I went to the ladies room and when I came out that b** (err…gentleman) was at the snack shop buying himself an icecream come.

When I walked up and gave him a dirty look he said, “Oh, do you want something?”

I had to laugh. “This is why we will never be in a relationship,”I told him. “The next time you are out with a woman, please think about taking care of her before you think of taking care of yourself. It’s your job to make sure she is having a good time and all of her needs are met.”

~shakes head~

Since he’s just my friend I wasn’t too hard on him, I don’t think. But I realized at that moment that I’m tired of having to teach men how to act. As I sat next to him in the movie, I began to feel joy about meeting a man who would anticipate my needs and meet them BEFORE I even recognize them.

Does a man like that exist? Of course he does. I have yet to meet him, but the mere fact that this is a desire of mine means that I can have it. I believe that I can have anything that my little heart imagines.

So…since I wasn’t able to define what I DO want, until I experienced the contrasting situation, I don’t have to feel defeated or irritated about the experience. It was simply a learning lesson. Sometimes bad situations are just a part of your experience so that you can recognize and appreciate the good situation when it comes your way.

Take a look at the bad situation, recognize the lesson learned and just….expect the opposite the next time.

I looked over at my friend and smiled. He smiled back and patted my leg. “Thanks for showing me what I don’t want,” I thought to myself. Every man is your teacher. Learn your lesson and move on. Define what you want and don’t settle for less.

Your expectations really do create your reality.

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