Just Rambling

This has been one helluva week.

I’ve been extra cranky thanks to my monthly visitor and my old negative thought pattern tried to sneak its way back in but for the most part I was able to push it aside because…it takes too much energy to focus on the bad stuff.

My sons and I had a GREAT WEEK. Money flowed in from all kinds of sources and we were able to do everything that we wanted to do and some extra stuff too. The best part is..my son has been asking for a Nintendo DS since I was in Texas and he has saved up $50 from gifts and “tooth fairy” money and I got a gift card for Circuit City for $90 which will cover the game. Now all he has to do is show me his report card, he always makes the honor roll, and we’ll take the money he made from last 9-weeks report card and this 9 week’s report card and then we’ll be able to get the game and then a couple extra games!

I am so excited!

Oh my gosh…I’m watching the movie Baby Boy on TVOne right now and it’s a classic. Damn that shit was realistic as hell! I don’t know maybe it’s fear on my part, but I’m really not feeling the thought of going through crap like that just to have a relationship with a man.

I told one of my old college friends that I’m becoming a Relationship therapist and she laughed and said, “Those who can’t DO…TEACH. Huh, Tee?”

I shrugged my shoulders. I guess.

It’s really that..I don’t feel unsuccessful because I don’t have a romantic relationship, I feel like I have less pressure in my life. I don’t see anything in anyone’s relationship that makes me go, “I really want that.” I don’t feel like I’m losing out on anything at all. I feel more at ease being single. But who knows..it could be fear. I’ll figure it out.

It’s not funny but..I’m always trying to figure my problems out. I was chatting with a friend of mine and he told me that most people don’t take the time to sort out their fear and issues. He says they generally self medicate and then hide it from themselves and the world.

“That’s why you seem to have so many issues,” he said. “It’s because you are aware and working overtime to deal with them. There’s purpose in this time in your life.”

~sigh~

Damn..this feels good. I got a new lap top. My old one went back to HP in early February and they just now gave me a coupon to get another one. I was going to get another HP but when I saw the new Gateway Notebook I fell in love. First of all, it was way cheaper than the HP, the screen is bigger, there is the same amount of memory and it’s cuter- It’s RED. Get it! I really like it.

So I’m feeling lovely and once I figure out how to get the new Microsoft Office 2007 suite for free, I’ll be back in writer’s heaven.

Hmm…If you have kids you’ve probably had the pleasure of taking them to see all of the delightful children’s movies that come out. I’m not even being sarcastic, I actually enjoy watching these movies with them. I learn a lot. Yesterday we went to see Nim’s Island. It made me smile as one of the lead character’s, played by Jodie Foster, appeared on the screen in front of her laptop talking to her editor on the phone.

“Mommy,” my son asked. “Does she do what you do? Is she a writer?”

I almost cried with happiness. “Yes, she does what I do. But she writes books and I haven’t sold any of mine yet.”

Damn..That felt great that they made that connection. Well, they should have..all week long I couldn’t get any real writing done, except for one article and I kept having to ask them to please be quiet while I try to call this editor or sell this article idea and for the most part they listened and asked questions afterwards.

“Mama, if the lady tells you to write the story, how much do you get?”

“After I write the story, I’ll make $300. Ya’ll gonna be quiet later and let me do this interview?”

They smile, “Yes, Ma’am.”

I called Anna today to tell her about the movie and how Jodie Foster’s character had agoraphobia. “Dawg,” I said. “She gets to sit in the house, she doesn’t have to go ANYWHERE and all she has to do is write her books and make her money! That sounds good to me!”

“Tee! Girl, please! She’s in the house because of a fear. She CAN’T go anywhere. That’s no way to live. Imagine what kind of stories she could write if she had more experiences…”

Yeah..she’s right.

But it still sounds like the kind of professional life I’d love… Imagine the ability to work from home, free from the social hassles of an office environment and still be able to earn an abundant income doing what you love. ~smile~ I guess that’s every writer’s dream to sit alone and spark their imagination and entertain others.

That is what I’d like to manifest. I’d like to use my knowledge and research to write and uplift others.

Well..anything is possible.

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