I Met A Girl

I was at work just doing my thing, making it happen as a server when the hostess asked me to come to the front to give directions to a man on the phone. As I approached the front desk, the front door opens and I froze in place when she walked in.

All I could do was stand and stare as she stood in front of the hostess stand. I think I managed to say Hi but I don’t even remember.

In my mind I was like, “Damn she’s georgeous.”

But it didn’t stop there…

She walked up to one of my co workers, a server who is well known for her gay lifestyle and outgoing personality. I tried to pretend like she wasn’t there as I organized the birthday sing along for one of my co workers but I felt this…this…tug on my heart.

After we sang and ordered food to eat since our shift was over, my co worker came over and I asked her, without even hesitating, “Who was your friend?” My eyes glued to my plate, feeling all nervous and wondering why.

“Who? Cameron? You haven’t met her before?”

“No,” I shook my head.

“What? She’s cute huh?”

I nodded my head and mumbled, “Yeah.”

“You want me to get her phone number for you?” she asked.

“No,” I replied quickly. “What would I say?” I was confused right then. I mean, I was attracted to this GIRL like she was a MAN. A fine ass MAN! I didn’t understand it.

At this point I realized that..um…Oh shit…all of the rest of my co workers are still here and I have never said I liked girls, in fact, I have never actually LIKED a girl before..even though I sometimes insinuate that I do. But THIS girl…

I went home and couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her dreads, the way she smiled, the way she was dressed, her spirit. I could NOT stop thinking about her.

I called up my BFF Tamara and told her what happened and guess what she said, “I guess you can’t help who you are attracted to.”

I raised my eyebrow at that response since a few years ago she told me flat out, “If you ever decided to be gay, I wouldn’t be your friend anymore.” Guess something happened…

So I went through the night crying and questioning myself. I don’t get it, how can I think of a GIRL in the way I would think of a MAN? What’s going on here? Why do I feel drawn to her? What is it about her?

I went in to work the next day feeling crazy and confused but still trying to smile as I greet and serve my tables. My manager hands me a tray with a raspberry lemonade on it, “Tee, could you please drop this off at table 58?”

“Sure.” I grab the tray and saunter out of the kitchen. I turn to table 58 and I freeze. Oh shit! It’s the girl again. This time she’s filling out paperwork to start working there.

I fucked up so many orders that day, I couldn’t concentrate. As she left I found myself watching her walk away through the window and then being confused. What’s wrong with me? This is a GIRL!

This is a girl…

This is a girl…

But I couldn’t stop thinking about her…

The next day and the day after…

And the next day…

And I wanted to see her again so I asked my co worker to introduce us and she laughed. “Wait…”I tried to explain. “I…I’ve never been attracted to any girl before…before I saw her.”

She told me that she was going to be working with us so it would be best if I waited to get to know her first. “You just try to be friends, like bestfriends…and then things could change.”

I reluctantly agreed. I mean, I don’t even know what I’d do with her if I was WITH Her. What d lesbians do together anyway? Am I a lesbian?

I called my Mama and told her what happened. She laughed so loud..”So you’re a lesbian now?” she asked.

“No. not yet. I can’t be a lesbian by myself. She has to like me back. I’ll let you know what happens.”

Yesterday I was on facebook and I looked her up. I found her quickly and looked through her pics. She has dreads, very nice ones, tattoos on her forearms and she’s boyish. Like, she wears timberlands and stuff..but she’s still so beautiful to me. I sent her a friend request, introduced myself and she accepted it.

I don’t know. This is gay…and gay as in…weird…

I keep thinking of this homemade porn that Curtis showed me one time…As I watched two of his homegirls lick and tease each other…it was disgusting to me. Still is kinda disgusting I guess.

I mean, girls have nice bodies and smell good but the thought of actually TOUCHING one in a sexual way never appealed to me, until now.

In fact, all the things that I suppose I SHOULD be imagining doing with a guy like cuddling and going to the movies and taking pictures and shopping and holding hands in the mall, I imagine doing it with her. And I don’t even know her.

Ahh…it feels so good to let that out. WHo knows if she’ll even think Im pretty or if we’ll have anything in common. I just wanna know WHY i feel so drawn to her. Maybe she has a lesson to teach me or maybe she’ll completely blow me off. I don’t know. I sure would love to hang out with her and find out about her life.

I don’t know…

I guess this story is still…pending…

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