I Forgive Myself

My life is a miracle.

I know I make it sound easy, huh?

Yeah. I know I do. And during those times when I’m writing, I’m feeling easy, breezy. But I have to admit, I have to fight for my positive thought.

I have to stop myself, literally, in mid-thought and I have to say, “No, that is not what I want. That is not my future. My life is a miracle.”

I have to really focus on it or else my mind will go straight back to where it was, imagining my mistake or nervousness and once I let it linger there, I’ll start to think of other negative situations and then I’ll be crying talking about “My life is miserable.”

I don’t want to feel like that…ever.

So I fight against the negativity that comes into my mind. I say No to it. I really pause and say, “NO. I will not think this thought.”

Maybe I’m the only one wh0 has to do this but damn…it’s worth the effort. I refuse to be the one complaining about my life again. Now when I hear someone complain, I feel sad and I think, “It’s your life. Be grateful for it.”

This is LIFE!

LIFE!

LIFE!

We have to take the chance to live it up while we are here. We’re not going to be here forever. I believe we chose to be here and to experience life so why not really experience it. Experience it with joy. Let joy be found in everything you do and say and if it doesn’t have joy in it, don’t even THINK it!

You keep talking about something and you give it more life. It’s like your words are gasoline being thrown on a fire.

What are you saying? What are you fueling with your words?

Damn. I’m talking to me. Cuz lately my mind is wandering and I’m feeling guilty and I’m making all kind of stories up in my head about how nothing is ever going to go right for me, all my past mistakes are going to completely ruin my future, then I start to think about how badly I want to do right, become a success while doing it and help others accomplish the same thing.

I want people to have better relationships and love themselves. I want us to treat each other with love. I just want to do some GOOD In the world. But it’s frustrating when I feel like the little kid who keeps wearing his shoes on the wrong foot everytime I try. FUCK!

But ughh..see. I need to be better about that self criticism. Thank God that I believe in GOD.

There’s forgiveness in God. There’s focus in God. There’s hope in God. There’s everlasting love in God. There’s always another chance with God.

Anna wrote this quote on her signature for her e-mail.

“God is Love…..Love is Life ….I Live For Love… smooches…Anna”

There’s nothing that feels better than knowing that.

I forgive myself.

I forgive myself.

I love myself.

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