Here’s the question on my heart. Is every man on the down low?



My little sis has a bestfriend who is gay and hearing the stories that this dude tells is mind blowing.

I read that book On the Down Low by J.L. King. I didn’t really like it because I only like to read good writing and you can tell he’s not a real writer but others have said it was very informative. It just made me feel sad for gay men.

It seems like they operate out of lust, not love and the whole gay thing is about having sex and nothing more. But my sister disagrees. She says gay men have the same emotional ups and downs in their relationships that heterosexual relationships do. I just can’t imagine a man getting all emotional over another man. I mean, aren’t most men programmed to be emotionless?

So now, when I meet a man I’m forced to think about the possibility of him being with other men. It annoys me that I have this mind set but I can’t help it anymore. If the statistics are really true, whatever the book listed, this is really crazy. Look at these guys I saw on BP. I would have easily been taken in by some of them, they call themselve fyne DL nigs. They’re all supposedly on the down low.

My girl Tonya had me rolling when she told me that she met a man who was georgeous and educated and during their first conversation she asked him if he was familiar with the down low lifestyle. He said he was very offended and he mentioned to a mutual friend of theirs that he thought Tonya was too aggressive. But then he kept asking the friend if she thought he looked like he was gay. In fact, he kept questioning the friend as to why someone would ever think he could be down for something like that. Tonya says she thinks she hit a sore spot. She thinks he is gay for real.

Man, I dont know. I wonder if molestation as a child has something to do with men becoming gay. I mean, if a child’s first sexual experience or pleasurable experience is with someone of the same sex, wouldn’t they continue to associate that same feeling of pleasure with being with someone of the same sex?

I’m a little overly concious about this subject because I have two boys and I don’t want them to have to deal with that. I do want them to have men in their lives on a consistent basis because I can’t teach them everything they need to know, but I’ll be damned if some man is gonna touch my sons inappropriately and mess them up. I guess I am also afraid of them being molested because I was molested when I was younger. By someone that I would have totally not expected to do it. It blew my mind and confused me and scarred me in different ways.

Child-rearing is serious business and I understand that I can’t protect my boys from everything, but I want to. There’s so much to watch out for these days it’s no wonder why so many ppl are single or in messed up relationships.

I hope my desire to be loved never outweighs my common sense. My boys come first.