HELP WANTED Signs

I hadn’t heard anything back from the restaurant in over a week so I figured they had not been as excited about me as I thought. I couldn’t understand and neither could any of my friends. If it was just a waitress/cashier position, why hadn’t I been considered?

Oh well. I’ll keep planting seeds and introducing myself around. Which reminds me, I really need to get some business cards as soon as I can. By the time I go to check my phone messages I see that I have 5 missed calls. Most of them are from Ruby, who is krunk about some crazyness she heard, but the last one is from the restaurant.

“Hi, sorry for calling you so late. We would like for you to come in for a 2nd interview tomorrow morning at 8am. Please call me tonight and let me know if you can make it in. Thanks!”

2nd interview?

For a waitress position?

Huh?

I laughed and called her back, leaving a message on her voicemail saying that I’d see them in the morning.

That night I couldn’t sleep I tossed and turned. I knew that one publisher wanted to meet with me about publishing my blog as a column in her paper and I had a few more leads I needed to follow the next day. But ofcourse when you’re excited you can’t get much rest.

After finally going to bed around 3:30 am, I woke up at 6:30 and took a long hot shower. “What image do I want to present today?” I asked myself as I sorted through clothes in the closet. “I know. I’ll be a lil bit professional, but still relaxed. I’ll wear the creme tweed pants, with a wife beater and my favorite jacket.”

By the time I got dressed and darted out the door it was 20 minutes to 8am. Screeeeeeeeeech!

4 minutes later I was sitting in front of the restaurant. “Damn I didn’t know I was THAT close!”

I took the extra time to pray and listen to my favorite Jay-Z verse on Late Registration a few times, getting myself krunk and feeling unstoppable. I then walked into the restaurant and asked for the manager. I sat down and waited. While I waited I took out two books. My daily inspirational reads: Daily Motivations for African American Success and the book I give as a gift every chance I get, The Greatest Salesman In the World by Og Mandino.

I was all up into the second scroll when the business owner came over to greet me. “What are you reading?” he asked curiously, picking up my books and guiding me over to a table in the corner so we could talk. I’ll admit. I was very nervous. I’m always nervous around men because…well…I guess I’m still trying to work through my fear that they are all out to hurt me.

But I put on a brave face as he questioned me intensely about my background and my life goals. I found this to be very interesting. Uhh…I thought I was interviewing for a waitress position…I couldn’t understand it. I ended up chatting with him in the same manner that I chat with editors about publishing my blog. I opened up with each question he asked, letting him know my true heart and the reasons behind my move to Houston. I told him about my sons and how I miss them and how I’m trying to build for our future so we can be together again.

We sat there for a minute in silence.

“What can you offer me?” he asked. “What can you do for my business that we aren’t already doing?”

I was taken aback. My eyes darted to the HELP WANTED sign on the door. I was just trying to make some money to pay my bills. This feels like it’s going in another direction and I have no idea what to say.

“Well, I don’t want to overwhelm you,” I say confidently, deciding that I will just rattle off my resume. But for some reason, I can’t say anything. “I…I…I can do whatever it is you need.”

“Why us? How does this restaurant fit into your goals?”

I gulped. “Well…I’m writing my story right now and one day it will reach millions. I’m here on a hope and a prayer and I’m hoping that this business could provide the means for me to stand on my feet. I need to pay my bills. I’m hoping to be connected to a family in Houston because I don’t have one and this seems like a good place to start,” I reply sincerely.

I hope he sees my heart. I hope I didn’t talk too much. I always end up saying too much, man…He’s probably going to think I’m crazy or overqualified or whatever. Man…

“Well, I’d love to speak with you this afternoon. Give me a call around 4:30 and we’ll talk,” he tells me. We shake hands and I walk over to his assistant to give her my contact information.

I don’t know what just happened. Is he playing with me? I’m confused. I drive down the street back to the Professor’s townhouse and once I’m inside I map out the rest of my plans for the day.

By 1pm I’m ready to roll out and I get dressed quickly. This time I’m headed to a nearby radio station to introduce myself in person and see if there are any opportunities available. When I get there it’s drizzling outside but I don’t care because I don’t have to worry about my hair. What’s a little water gonna do?

I open the double doors and walk in with a smile. “Hi!” I say to the receptionist and she smiles at me from behind a stack of papers that she is shredding. I look around at the walls, trying to get a feel for what kind of radio station I am in. Black faces pepper the walls. Awards for DJ’s. Talk radio. It’s an AM station. A Black Talk radio station. Oh. Ok.

“May I help you?”

“Sure. I was wondering if I could speak with someone about any available job opportunities or internships or even volunteer work.”

“Oh, let me get the station manager for you,” she says, her braids swinging as she dials on her phone.

“Thanks!”

An older man with a curious expressions enters the lobby from a long hallway.

“May I help you?” he asks and extends his hand.

I meet him with a firm shake and smile. “Hi, My name is Ms. Tee and I’m new to the area. I hope that you could use me in some capacity at your radio station.”

“Do you have any experience?”

“Well. I’m a journalist and I have interned at a radio station before. I used to write radio commercials and sometimes do voice overs. I love to write and I have a great speaking voice!”

“Well most of our employees have been here for 10 years or so we don’t go well with change.”

“That’s okay. I’m willing to learn and start at the basics. Are you sure you don’t need any volunteers. I could help with filing. I could help with events. Whatever you need I have the time and energy for it.”

“Well..not right now. You should try the other radio stations. They may be able to help you better. It would be better if you got with a station who could actually use your energy and create a real opportunity for you. I’m not sure we’ll be able to offer you that here,” he says apologetically.

“I understand,” I tell him. “Thank you for your time.”

I don’t leave right away. I decide to engage the receptionist in a conversation.

“So how do you like working here?” I ask her.

“Everyone here is so nice. They keep me busy though. It’s really laid back.”

“Who’s on the air right now?”

“Oh, that’s just Wash Al.len. He’s a trip girl!”

“Wash Al.len!” I exclaimed, remembering the men in the barber shop who told me that his show was very popular among Black men and women in this city.

“Yeah… Girl, he’s a trip.”

“Is he in there? Do you think I could meet him?” I ask timidly.

“Girl YES! He’s VERY friendly…”

She stands up and walks down the hallway and returns in less than a minute. “He will probably take a break in five minutes or so. You’re welcome to stay and wait.”

Soon, an older man with a warm smile approaches. “Come on,” he says instead of greeting me. I laugh and follow him to the studio. He stands in front of his mic and looks over at me extending his arms for a hug.

~cough~

I give him one. A small one.

“So, you’re a fan?”

I laugh. “Not exactly,” I tell him and recount how I heard about his show in the first place.

He raises a finger for me to be quiet as he pushes a few dials and speaks into the microphone. “I’ll be right back folks. Just give me a minute. We’ll talk about it okay?”

He turns back to me. “So what are you doing in Houston?”

Again I go into my whole story about being on my own Pursuit of Happiness journey and how I’m starting out with nothing and hoping for a big return. He smiles at me as he looks at the clock.

“Ok, I’d love to check out your website and read about your life. Write down the address for me.”

I do..and cringe. Oh Lord. I hope nothing from my past honesty will be my downfall.

But then I felt it. Peace. Each story I’ve told from day one has been the truth from my heart. Whether it makes me look good or bad, it’s all me. And I could never be a blogger who sets out to make myself look perfect because I’m not.

My blog is all of me. Take it or leave it.

I walk away and head over to a nearby restaurant. It’s a soul food restaurant on Almeda. I almost trip when I walk in but I regain my balance. Two men sitting near the door smile at me, “If you fall, I’ll catch you,” one of them says and I give him my superstar smile.

I walk up to the line and my mouth drops open. HOT FOOD! Oh man! I’ve been longing for some cooked food! I’m just gonna have to suck it up and spend money on it because Froot Loops for breakfast, lunch and dinner ain’t getting it.

I smile at the man standing behind the counter and I order baked chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli and a small order of banana pudding. I’m about to fall out as the scent invades my nostrils.

I ride on home and place a towel over my bed so that I can eat and surf careerbuilder, shooting off my resume on occasion. I take a quick nap and wake up just in time to get ready for an event I heard about. A free movie about how soldiers come home from war and then end up homeless. It’s an issue that I have witnessed second hand through Anna who has had a conversation with me about her fiance and his time served in the military and how he has endured struggles trying to stabilize himself.

I call my boys while I’m on the way to the theatre. They chat happily about school and what their Daddy cooked for them. “Ok boys, I have to go,” I tell them. “Mommy is lost right now and I have to pay attention.”

“Ok Mama. We love you.”

“I love you too Boo Boo’s. Goodnight.”

By the time I find the place I’m annoyed. I find a parking spot and walk up to the theatre, trying to change my mood. I smile when I see a group of young Black professionals like myself standing at the door. They’re eyeing me so I give them the Superstar smile. It’s kind of an “I know I’m the shit and I know you know I’m the shit but let’s not be mad about it I’m still friendly” kinda grin and nod.

“$10” they say.

TEN DOLLARS!?

Huh?

“Um..there wasn’t a price on the email you sent out.”

“Oh..well, if you would have clicked the link at the very bottom, it would have taken you to another page that would give the information.”

I wrinkly my nose at them.

“There’s an ATM across the street,” one girl tells me.

Yeah right. No way am I spending ten dollars on PLEASURE. Not happening.

I turn around and leave the theatre. Before I can exit a man standing with a camera sorta stands in my way as if he wants to talk to me but he can’t quite figure out how to begin. I pause to give him his chance.

“Um..” he says slowly. “You seemed much taller on the stairs.”

“Yeah. That’s because I have a big presence,” I shoot back.

“I was thinking the same thing…” he says and smiles down at me. Dude must be like 6’5 with these long dreads and the most beautiful smile ever. Why are these people so TALL here? I can’t believe it!

I pause again just in case he wanted to say something else. I’m not really interested I just know how difficult it is for men to approach women. We are so used to dissing them and it really gets to their egos but it’s only because we women are tired of them approaching us with a bunch of lies and then not being men of integrity. And most of them approach you in the same way. It gets annoying after a while. But I try not to be too mean to them when they do have the courage to speak. Facing rejection always takes courage and I appreciate courage in men.

He doesn’t have it.

He stammers and looks away. I take the chance to walk on out the door and back to my car- all the way back to the townhouse where the Professor is watching TV. I join him..at least until 9pm when I sneak outside to my car to call JB and hear all about his day at the magazine.