Grumbling and Mumbling

No, I’m not the easiest person to hang around.

All day long I shower people with praise and point out their fabulosity and use every chance I get to tell them how wonderful they are. Some people HATE me for this but I can’t help it. All I see when I look at you is how great you are.

I have a story to write and I’m stalling. My mind can’t let go of all of my shortcomings. You know, the things I need to fix about myself. These days it’s more of a physical thing than anything mental because my shift in mental attitude when I realized how my expectations RULE my world have caused me to expect only wonderful things and wonderful things happen consistently!

This still doesn’t help with the other physical things that I need to work on like…my teeth.

I have horrible teeth.

I remember when I was with my Baby Daddy he said, “As soon as I get some money I’m gonna get your teeth fixed for you Babe. Once you do that, you’ll be fine.”

I have cavities and bad breath all the time. I need to get that handled. Do you know how good it feels to have INSURANCE?! Oh my gosh! I haven’t had that in forever. I can go to the doctor! We have full coverage DENTAL too! I think I may faint!

The last time I went to the dentist they gave me a projected bill for my dental work and I shrugged and threw that shit in the garbage. I didn’t have money for that.

A couple of visits to the doctor, a few dozen visits to the dentist and I should be all right. Then I can concentrate on improving the outside.

I fantasize about having good meals on a regular basis. Homecooked meals. Meals NOT cooked by me. I wonder how that’s gonna happen?

I also wish I could take a day to detoxify myself and you have no idea how long it’s been since I relaxed in a warm BATH.

A massage would be nice.

I’m a BEAST at work, but at least I haven’t smelled like one lately. I think my expectation that I WON’T smell like hot cootchie has led to me not reeking. Or maybe I just haven’t noticed.

There are so many pretty women at my office. I check them all out, but not too closely. If any of them are bi or gay I don’t want them thinking I am too, which they probably think anyway because everyone thinks that I like women. Which I kinda do… A little bit. Women are so beautiful to me. I just don’t want to touch them.

Blah…

I’m procrastinating…

Let me go write this story…after I make one phone call.