My life is a miracle.
My sister thinks I’m weird because I have an imaginary boyfriend. When I try to tell her about Steve she just LAUGHS at me.
“Tee, Don’t you think that’s just a little PSYCHOTIC? You’re a grown person. Grown people don’t have imaginary friends.”
“Yes they do. If they want to. Besides, Tamara and Anna don’t think I’m crazy. They don’t mind hearing about Steve.”
“Because Tamara and Anna know that if they tell you the truth you aren’t going to be upfront with them anymore. I’m your sister and I know you ain’t going nowhere. Tee….You are being psychotic!”
I laugh. “Ok Teenie. If that’s your opinion, I don’t want to take that away from you. But the truth is, until I met Steve I’ve never started any relationship with a man and felt certain that good things were going to come from it. This is my first time, ever feeling confident that there is a man out there who was made just for me. If nothing else, this experience is giving me the opportunity to express how I want to be treated and then imagine scenarios where it could actually happen. I’m just happy that I thought of it.”
“How did you come up with this?” she asked with a laugh.
“Well, everyone I talk to on a consistent basis is in a relationship. Everyone but me. I got tired of hearing all these relationships stories when I had nothing to add. So I made him up. And the more I think about this idea, the more I like it. It’s really me acting as though I already have the type of man that I want. I’m grateful that he’s so patient with me, that he’s so much more business savvy than I am and that he’s just…nice to me. I don’t get that often. I now realize that if my mind can’t imagine having a healthy, fulfilling relationship, it’s less likely to happen in my reality.”
“Where the hell did you get the name Steve?”
Well, there are several people named Steve who have had a major influence on my life.
1. Steve- AKA The Attorney- Although he turned out to be a big, fat liar, I really liked him and enjoyed every single conversation that we ever had. I became excited when I was communicating with him because he was so smart and he was uplifting too. He gave me my first taste of being excited about possibly having a future with a professional man. I don’t speak with him anymore though, and I don’t want to but I’ll never forget making out like little kids in the car on the side of the street; that was a beautiful moment. I want my Steve and I to have that kind of attraction.
2. Steve- My Big Brother- When I was 16 I met my first mentor and she married her childhood friend, his name was Steve. Steve treated my mentor Traci sooo well. I always looked at him like he was an angel. When I was in college he would write letters to me to encourage me. He has no idea how much I appreciate him. He was someone who really cared about me. My Steve will be just as sweet and thoughtful.
3. Steve- My Summer Love- During one of my summer visits to Cincinnati, I met a man named Steve. I think I was 19 years old at the time. I loved Steve. He was beautiful. If I had to choose a man to be the model for how my husband should look, I’d choose him. He was light skinned like me. He had a big nose like mine. Big feet like mine and he used to wear an orange sweat suit. I would call him Garfield. He took me to campus to visit UC. He took me to church with him. We would do it all the time, in the basement, on the floor, everywhere. I really liked spending time with him. He was so smart and so gentle with me. We clicked. I often wonder what he’s up to. I heard he got married and started his own computer business. That made me so proud of him. Wherever he is, I hope he’s ridiculously happy because during that summer romance, I know I was. My Steve and I will love being around each other all the time.
4. Steve- The Ultimate- The ultimate model for my perfect man came from none other than Steve Urkel. ~sigh~ I used to be so mad at Laura for dissing him. I didn’t understand why she didn’t see his inner and outer beauty. He set the mark. My Steve will be just as beautiful as Urkel and equally intelligent.
I can’t wait to see what will happen between us. Since I’m creating this relationship I can only imagine wonderful experiences.