Enjoying The Ride

Today was an absolutely fantastic day!

Nothing special happened, it’s just…I guess I love being ME!

It started off kinda crazy though. I called my BBDD up to see when the boys would be back home from their break. He told me. Then I told him that I would be there early on Monday morning to take the boys to their first day of school. He then informed me that his girlfriend would be taking them to their first day and their was nothing I could do about it because he has custody and he would be out of town and she would be taking care of them. He then hung up on me.

LOL!

I know that doesn’t SOUND funny, but for about 5 minutes I was so hurt. But then..I was like..Man, he is who he is. Every chance he gets to try to hurt me, he will. Only thing is..that shit don’t hurt me anymore. Whatever is going on in his heart HE has to deal with. It’s not my problem. He kinda makes me laugh always looking so angry everytime I come around or talk to him. You would have thought I was the one who tried to force him to have an abortion and then dumped him because he refused. ~shakes head~

I’ma call my kids tonight and tell them I’ll be there for their first day of school. I know they’ll be excited.

Anyway…I calmed down after about 15 minutes and finished up my day at the restaurant. I’m still in training to be a server and still getting to know all of the other women who work there. Seems like a nice bunch.

It’s crazy…All day long I get to smile and be nice to people. I get to cater to them and make them feel good. I really enjoy doing that. Really I do. I feel like an artist as I make salads and make fresh milkshakes and decorate the plates and make the food all pretty. I treat everyone like they are superstars and I love every minute of it!

My next plan to make some money is to sell cold bottles of water on the street corner. You’ve ever seen those people? They sell fruits and socks and stuff on the side of the road. They come up to your car and ask you if you want to buy. Yeah…I think I’m gonna try that. Either that or washing windows at the gas station. I wonder how much I can make from doing that for a day. I’ll probably try them both and see which one makes the most money. Just as soon as I get a day off, I’m gonna be out there in the sun with my little shorts on…

It’s funny cuz I used to wonder why those people did that- sell food on the corner. Now I see why.

THEY NEED MONEY!

Well, me too. So I’ll join the ranks for a little while.

Let me tell you something. I’ve really learned how to find happiness in every situation. I don’t know if it’s because I only feed myself positive information and I’ve learned how to balance my thoughts but…it’s working. I never stay sad for long.

Tamara was in town last weekend and when I went to visit her I spent the night and we both spent hours hanging with her parents and laughing. Her Dad said to me, “Tee, You’re one strong girl. Most people in your situation would be depressed and near suicide.”

I looked at Tamara, who looked away.

Damn…For real? Suicide?

I remember being depressed because I couldn’t figure out why my BBDD was so cruel to me all the time. But I let that go. And I used to be depressed because my parents didn’t seem to support me in the way that I think they should- by acknowledging my good points- I let that go too.

How could MY source of happiness come from the way that OTHERS treat me? If I waited for everyone to line up with how I feel I deserve to be treated then I’d probably DIE waiting for it to happen.

Oh no, no, no. I’m gonna be happy regardless every single day.

That shit really is a choice.

Still riding out my adventurous life! Now that I know where I’m gonna end up, I hold firm to the vision and just enjoy the ride.

I can’t wait to see my boys!