Considering

I just got home from work. My back is hurting so much. But man I swear, I love being a server. I dont know whats going on with my phone. It wont keep a charge so I cant use it. Then my sister gave me her old phone and now THAT won’t keep a charge either. I dont mind being phoneless though, but why am I paying a bill for a phone I cant use? Metro PCS…u ain’t working me right!

Yesterday I picked up my little sister and we went out window shopping in Ft. Lauderdale and saw some really cute accessories and makeup for the low. I didn’t spend any money because my money is dedicated to renewing my tag, which expired on my birthday. But I have parking tickets and shit on it so I have to come up with the money to pay all of that before I can renew. ~sigh~
My rent here is WAYY higher than my last place so I don’t have the funds I used to have. But at least its cuter here and more private.
After my sister and I went window shopping, we came back here and took a walk around my neighborhood and explored some. We found some tight ass boots for $40 and I can’t WAIT to buy them.
Otherwise…I’m just trying to focus on what to do next. I put a lot of pressure on myself because I feel like I have so much potential yet I have not realized any of my goals. Well, yes I have, I just..I don’t see the FRUIT of all I’ve done just yet and it frustrates me.
I’m seriously considering stopping my show to pursue my writing further. I really want to work on my next book but I never even got the first one published so I’m not sure that’s a smart idea. I also want to go to blogtalk radio and do great interviews about successful relationships and why they work. I think it would be a great experience for me to actually study GOOD LOVE. Such the opposite of what I experience with men, it delights me to hear stories about women in good relationships.
It also kinda makes me jealous. All day long I’m waiting tables and watching couples giggle and laugh and kiss and just…love on each other and I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. LOL!
I’m laughing but not really. I have class tomorrow. I need to finish my readings before then.
I am hopeful this evening…and tired…and hungry…and kinda lonely but…I’ll get over it.

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