Closed To The Public

Who the hell left the gate open?

Somebody done blowed my mind recently and told me about this thing called Tiny Chat. Its a website and you can web cam chat with multiple people to promote your twitter page. It’s full of young kids in their teens and 20’s. Most of the most popular chat rooms I’ve seen are filled iwth Black people too.
My first day there I was mesmerized. I didn’t quite understand what was going on and I saw that I was in a box and others could see me and I could see them and we could talk and people were writing to us in a text box below. Before I could get my bearings some guy starts annihilating me. He’s saying I’m ugly, I look like a boy, I have man hands. I’m laffing and laffing because that sure doesn’t happen on the street.
Once I even shook my ass for the camera….just cuz I wanted to. TWIT PIC THAT!
LOL! If I could..I’d make a video tape..real talk. If I felt like anyone would ever want to see it! LOL I’m sure you wouldn’t…
But then as I came back….and I ran into the guy again who was insulting me..I saw that he was fine as fuck! LOL! I can’t remember the last time I “met” a guy online who I thought was cute. I NEVER flirt with anybody online! BUt anyway…
This place is made up of little cliques, and only so often will you get on and find someone who wants to talk about what you want to talk about but…it happens.
It happened once for me…I met these guys who were havin REAL TALK…and it all was positive and informative. Everyone in the chat room (all Black ppl) held a different opinion of religion/spiritual views. Yet..somehow we all managed to agree on everything that was at the core of our love for our belief….
It was beautiful. Before the convo ended we had to exchange twitter ID’s.
Man…my twitter. Twitter isn’t getting on my nerves so much lately and thats because it’s so quiet. COmpared to tiny chat, this twitter shit is boring.
I was on the phone with Lobo and she mentioned why is my twitter page blocked. She said it in a nice way…
I don’t know…Why is my twitter page blocked? I didnt start it out that way? What fears did I have where I felt my thoughts needed protection? My whereabouts? The issues closest to my heart?
Maybe I need a seperation? The internet used to be my warm blanket. The place where I could uncover all my pain and fears…and that is a part of know…writing and stuff. But maybe I’ll leave this blog for my emotional rants and self analysis and focus on being OPEN TO EVERYONE…and maintaining a sense of social decorum…on the others..
I don’t know…that don’t even sound right…
Why am I so private with people I know? I never share stories or tell tales from my past or my present. Unless they ask specifically, I don’t volunteer stories about my life.
I am very tight lipped…But then I blog all about it on the internet.
Sup with that?

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