My First Date
Was I dreaming that night?
It sure felt like a dream. Maybe I imagined the whole thing.
I meet men all the time. But for some reason the ones who approach me automatically turn me off. I don’t want to be approached by some guy because he thinks I’m pretty. I associate those admiring eyes with his desire to admire my naked booty bent over the kitchen counter. I know that’s what he really wants. So when they try to get my number I am immediately turned off for the most part. I guess I want to meet someone who admires my work ethic and my drive and wants to be a part of my vision for my life. Is that too much to ask?
I had been complaining to Ruby about my lack of companionship when she visited for Labor Day Weekend and as always, she decided to solve the problem.
“Oh, I got a homeboy for you. You’ll like him, his name is Dell. He’s from Miami and he’s very smart. He’s got his own computer consulting business and he’s hard working,” she said while she dialed his number. “Yeah girl…you’ll like him. He’s skinny though but I think he’s just your type.”
He answered the phone but he told Ruby that he was in Miami for the weekend and would hit her up when he got back.
Weeks passed and my body tensed into a seemingly unpenetrable giant knot. If I don’t get some TLC soon, I’m gonna go on a rampage. So I called Ruby up and asked her about her friend.
“Come on Ruby,” I pleaded. “Call your friend. I need some company. I’m tired of being by myself.”
“Ok, I’ll call him right now and tell him to expect your call.”
When she called me back to give me the number I decided to call the next day. When I got home from work I relaxed a little bit and put the red dye in my hair and picked up the paper with his number on it. I dialed the numbers slowly and he picked up on the second ring.
“Hello,” he said.
“Hi. This is Ms. Tee, Ruby’s friend. She gave me your number to call and be friends.”
He laughed.
We ended up talking about our career goals and how much we miss Miami barbers because the barbers up here suck. They don’t know the first thing about giving haircuts. He said that he had been through about 10 barbers and finally found one that he liked. The conversation was so smooth that he invited me to meet him the next day for pizza after work.
Ruby told me she emailed him a picture of me but I had no clue what he looked like. I didn’t care. As long as he was cool and down to hang out, he could look like Jamie Foxx (BEFORE the millions) and I wouldn’t care.
So I was excited that I kinda had a blind date so the next day I went into work looking jazzy in bright oranges and reds to match my hair. After work I stopped by the mall to pick up some things for Tamara and then I made the trek downtown to meet up with him at a pizza place called Slice in Castlebury.
When I stepped out of my car I heard someone say, “Tee!” I looked across the street and a dark skinned goofy looking man was standing there smiling at me. Ughh…I thought. I guess that’s him.
I put on a cordial smile and walk over to him. I pause when I realize that the man calling my name is the barber who messed up my haircut. I looked around the area. Yeah…I was just over here the other day wasting my money when this dude actually asked me, “Why would you want your edge round like that?” I looked at him like he was stupid. “Cuz that’s how I wear my hair. I’m not a man.”
After he finished my cut I realized why he asked me that. Cuz his ass couldn’t give me a round edge to save his life. No wonder he told me stories about how female customers complained about his cuts. He put it as though they were just trying to get over on him but I knew the truth. DUDE! You can’t cut hair! Get over it!
But he seemed so sensitive that I didn’t get rowdy with him. Especially since my co worker took me over there and I didn’t want to bring any nasty associations to my office. So I took the loss like a soldier and strutted with my bad haircut like the star that I am.
Anyway…I walked over to the pizza place and opened the door. All eyes were on me for a second as I scanned the room for someone who looked like they were looking for me. No one was.
I sat down on a bar stool and eyed the crowd. They were eyeing me back but I didn’t care. I’m so stunning all they can ever do is stare. ~wink~
I pull out my phone and dial his number. Two men put their phones to their ears. One walks outside because the place is noisy. I try to yell into my phone over the noise but I can’t hear anything so I decide to send a text message.
I’m inside. I type.
The man who is outside walks back in and over to me with a huge grin on his face as I stand up and extend my hand.
“Hi, I’m Ms. Tee, “I say and he pulls me into a hug, knocking my glasses off the top of my head and stepping on my toes.
“Oh, I stepped on your foot and I knocked your glasses off,” he apologizes. “Im sorry about that. Come over here and meet my friends.”
I follow him to a table that is directly in the middle of the restaurant. I notice that everyone is eating custom slices and drinking liquor and wine and beer.
“Would you like a drink?” he asks me.
“No, I’m okay.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t drink and drive.” I reply confidently.
“Don’t worry about that. Remember I run a tow company. I’ll have one of the drivers tow your car for you. You can ride with me.”
I laugh. Okay. I guess.
He introduces me to his friends who are actually his co-workers. They started their own towing service about 2 years ago and ran into many hardships along the way but now they are bigger and better than ever and have a fleet of tow trucks and get jobs transporting cars for dealerships. And this is Dell’s SIDE job. I like that. A lot.
So once I get comfy I listen in on his conversation with his co workers. They all seem to LOVE their jobs and it coulda been the liquour but I could tell they enjoyed working with each other. Their were two men and a woman there who made the success of their business their priority.
After I peeped the friendly comraderie, I decided to really check Dell out. I was expecting a Lupe Fiasco but he was more of a Pharrell. He caught me looking at him and he smiled. I smiled back and bit my lip, cocking my head to the side and giving him the Hell-yeah -I’m feelin you glance.
I could see him blush and smile again. I love making men blush. ~giggles~
His friends all left and we sat across from each other as we waited for the driver to come get my car. He told me all about how his businesses got started and some other areas he hopes to expand to. When the conversation lulled I could tell he was just as into me as I was into him so I asked him the basics- wife? girlfriend? Seeing anyone?
The answer was no to all three questions. “But,” he said. “I’m gonna be honest with you. I do have someone in my life who I care very deeply for. We’ve been apart for a year and a half now and like you said last night when we were on the phone, it’s like, I have so much hope for her but I don’t see any evidence of her ever being the woman that I need by my side.”
I could sense there was some hurt in his eyes and I realized what I had done. He’s a CANCER. Emotional ass…He probably really loved this girl and she treated him like crap just like all the other CANCER men I know.
I sigh at this revelation. Well, maybe I can be his friend and at least help him to be able to deal with it better. He’s probably never going to stop loving her or wondering when she’ll love him the way he knows he should be loved.
“You remind me of someone,” I tell him. “You remind me of my son’s godfather. His name is Rick and you have that same gentle spirit that he has. I just wanna hug you.”
“I’m open to that,” he tells me and blushes again.
By this time I’m done with my drink and I’m just a wee bit tipsy. Not too much. I could have driven but I think he wanted me to ride with him. We walk outside and meet the driver and I give him my car keys and we hop into Dell’s truck. Dell says that my car will be parked at his place for the night.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“We’re gonna stop by the barber for a minute and then we’ll go back to my place I need to shower and change. I’ve been in these clothes all day.”
We pull up to a white building and hop out in the cold night air. He ushers me inside and down some stairs and he walks up and says hello to the women who work there and then the barber. I sit down with the other women who are waiting to get their hair curled or weaves pressed.
He motions for me to join him as the barber places the cap around his neck. I walk over and take a seat in the vacant barber’s chair.
“She needs a cut,” he tells the barber and my eyes grow wide. He’s getting me a haircut too? How nice of him.
While he’s in the chair I stare at him and decide that I really like his face. He is definately handsome.
When it’s my turn I try to close my eyes so I won’t have to look at him but everytime I open them he’s looking right at me and smiling. His barber fixes my messed up edge and sharpens my V in the back of my neck.
I stand up smiling and we run out of there quickly.
On the way to his house I’m looking at the way he drives and I’m getting turned on. There’s a silent seduction going on here. I feel it. Why is this skinny dude so sexy to me?
When we get back to his apartment he opens the door and I take off my shoes and sit down on the white leather couch. “Do you mind if I get comfortable?” I ask him.
“You better.” he says as he empties his pockets before going into his bedroom.
Getting comfortable for me means sitting cross legged on the couch. I don’t know why I love this position. Hey…I’m sitting cross legged as I type this. LOL!
He comes out into the living room and places a little baggie on the table. Ooh. I know what that is.
He yawns, looks at me and says, “I smoke weed. You can accept it or reject it but you GOT to respect it.”
I laugh as he makes his way back to his bedroom.
“You want me to roll that up?”I call out.
He peeks his head out of the bedroom door. “Wow. Yeah..Go ahead. Ruby is gonna get a handshake from me. I like that.” He smiles and dissappears into the shower.
I roll up and I fire it up when he emerges. He’s looking too cute in an orange and white polo shirt with the air force ones to match.
“Did you notice that I decided to wear orange so we could match?” he asks me.
Awwwwwwwwwwww……….
At this point in my mind I break down. I try my best not to let him see it though. This guy is being so nice to me. He actually wants to go out in public with me and he wants to MATCH colors with me. ~shakes head~ To this day, not a single soul in Dude’s life knows he ever met a woman named Ms. Tee. I always thought he was ashamed of me.
And ofcourse you know my children’s father was never proud to tell anyone he had children with me. I’m feeling kinda nervous because I keep thinking that eventually he’s going to see what all the other men in my life have seen and he’s gonna reject me too. But I can’t help but remember what Tamara tells me when I’m feeling insecure. “Tee, be yourself. If the person can’t deal with that then they don’t need to. Its not meant to be.”
I mostly have to hear that statement when I’m feeling like holding back on who I am. I’m a motivator dammit! I buy cards for people. I call them up just to tell them how great I think they are. Everyone is a star to me and the thing that makes me most happy in life is showing others how great they are. But I sometimes feel self concious about it because I don’t want to seem insincere. I’m never fake like that but people look at me funny because they may not be used to someone praising them.
We puff and we pass, we pass and we puff and we talk over the big moments in our pasts. I tell him all about my move up here and my sons in Miami and their father and his fiance and my hopes for the future. We also talk about our sexual habits including the fact that if I am going to have secks with anyone on a regular basis we have to get HIV tests together. He nods his head in agreement. We seem to be on the same page about a lot of things, especially the pursuit of success. When I tell him that I don’t clean up he smiles and says, “That’s okay. We’ll get a maid.”
“Wait,” he says again. “As long as you’re WORKING we can get a maid.” I laugh.
“That’s the plan,”I tell him jumping up and down in my seat like a little kid. “I have to work hard so I won’t have to do any of the things I don’t want to do. I want a maid, a chef and a driver and I’m willing to work to be able to get that.”
He smiles at me.
“Are you gonna try to have secks with me?” I ask him bluntly and tell the story about the barbeque guy who got cut off because he tried me.
“I don’t like to try to persuade a woman to have secks with me. I know that if I really wanted to, I could push and pull and cajole you into doing it but…that’s no fun. I want you to WANT to have secks with me. It’s better that way.”
I smile at him.
I like him.
We talk about our first impressions of each other and I tell him that I thought he was gonna look like a nerd.
“When I turned around and saw you,” he said. “I thought, ‘Damn! Is that for me?!’ I had to tell myself to stop smiling so hard or you were gonna think I was a punk.”
This time I blushed. I’m glad he finds me attractive. I find him attractive too.
“This is the first time,” I say, completely opening up to him. “Since I’ve been an adult, that I can actually be free to enjoy myself. I never allowed myself that once I had my sons. I’ve been so uptight and punishing myself for years for having kids so young. I always thought that they had to be my whole world and now I have this new life. It’s scary but it’s cool. They are well taken care of with their Dad and they really need their father.”
“This is your time to evolve and become the woman that you always wanted to be,” he tells me and passes it back to me. “This is your time.”
By the time we finish smoking we have to rush out because his friends keep calling him. They are waiting for us at a comedy club called Throbacks. Don’t ask me where it was, I was GONE by this point.
We walk through the door to the club and his friends introduce themselves to me. I laugh at them and try to maintain my composure as we walk through the crowd to find seats. Before we find one I hear someone call out my name. I’m freaked out at this point because my name is unique and I’ve been keeping a low profile since I’ve been here.
“Ms. Tee!” I hear it again. I turn around and it’s this guy I knew from college. I remember him being a good person so I smile and give him a hug.
“I saw you on Facebook and read that you had moved to Atlanta,” he said.
“Um..yep. It’s cool here. Have you ever been to his club?”
“No, this is my first time.”
“Mine too, let me go sit down with my friend. It’s good to see you. Hit me up on Facebook.”
The club called Throbacks presents local comedians who aren’t really telling jokes. They are really just making fun of each other. It kinda sounded like PE class in highschool but they were much more funny.
After we order our drinks and food I’m feeling quite…um…LOL! Well, you know your girl Ms. Tee is in need of some TLC and this man seems like a nice guy. I look around at all the single women sitting with their friends and I remember that was a lifestyle for me.
I’m actually out in public with an attractive man. I am actually on a date. Wow. Then I start to feel like I don’t want this night to end. I don’t want this euphoria to subside and reality sets in and ruins everything.
I’m like, FUCK CELIBACY!
I’ll get my booty rubbed tonight and then I won’t even care if he calls me back. That’s right. I can do this! I can have a one night stand. As long as we have condoms we are okay.
I lean over and whisper into his ear, “I’m ready to go.”
He looks at me, “Go where.”
“To your place,” I say seductively and run my finger along his thigh.
He looks a bit surprised. “Okay. Let’s go.”
We head back out to the car and by the time the night air reaches my face I’m a lot more sober than I was while we were in the club.
“Um…” I say hesitantly. “I’m not as tipsy as I was back there. I don’t really know if I want to do that anymore. Uh..I’ve come to my senses.”
“Do you need another drink?” he asks and smiles at me.
“NO! Actually I think I’m okay to drive home.”
“Look, its late and I have to be out the door by 5:30 anyway. You’re gonna come in and get some rest and leave in the morning.”
Well damn…
“Okay,” I say.
When we get inside we undress and lie down next to each other. His skinny bones are sticking out and it’s so funny to me.
“What’s your last name?” I ask him. He tells me. “What’s your middle name?” He tells me. “What’s your Mama name” He laughs and tells me.
Then he asks me the same questions and I provide the answers.
We both laugh and snuggle up.
No kissing. Well, maybe a little on my part but he wasn’t very receptive to my advances. No booty rubbing and no condom package ripping.
We…just…slept…
I hear him get up, take a shower and fumble around in his closet.
I open one eye and realize that it’s probably time to get dressed. I stand up and stretch and then dress myself. He walks over to me and I say goodmorning. He’s rushing around the house gathering his stuff. I look at him and laugh. The entire night he was on his blackberry and on his cell phone handling office business. It doesn’t seem like he ever gets a break.
He walks over to me and stands in front of me. I give him a big hug and he hugs me back.
“I had a good time last night,” he says and I tell him that I did too.
We hop into his truck and he drops me to my car and I follow him back to the expressway wondering if this man is really this cool. Is he really that fine? Did we really have a great time and he didn’t even try me? Why didn’t he try me? Is he on the down low?
You know I asked him and he said, “Don’t bring that shit up again,” when he saw I was studying him closely looking for clues.
I had a great time with a great guy and even though it’s always nerve wrecking waiting for the call back, if he doesn’t call, I’ll always appreciate how wonderful my first date in Atlanta was.
